New National Threat Levels - Very Important

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We British

Message: The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings,
the level has just been raised from "miffed" to "peeved'! Soon though, the
levels may be raised yet again to "irritated' or even " a bit cross"!!
Londoners have not been "a bit cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea
supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from "tiresome" to "a bloody
nuisance".
The last time a "bloody nuisance" warning level was issued was during the
great fire in 1666.

Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised
its terror alert level from RUN to HIDE. The only two higher levels in
France are Surrender and Collaborate.

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white
flag factory, effectively paralysing their military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. The
Italians have increased their alert level from "shout loudly and
excitedly"
to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "ineffective
combat operations" and "change sides".

The Germans also increased their alert state from "disdainful arrogance"
to
"dress in uniform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels,
"invade a neighbour" and "lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from"
isolationism" to "find another oil-rich nation in the middle east ripe for
regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "attack the
world" and "beg the British for help".

Finally here in GB we've gone from "pretend nothing's happening" to "make
another cup of tea". Our higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful"
and
"win all except the cricket".

:LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
 
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Very good! Just the smile I needed on a wet sunday morning :D
 
Our higher levels are "remain resolutely cheerful"
and
"win all except the cricket".
ahh but we also have' draw and win the cricket' now.
is that like' win the cricket once in 20 years and never win it again?'
maybe we should change that to ' win all except the tennis'
 
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dabaldie said:
ahh but we also have' draw and win the cricket' now.
is that like' win the cricket once in 20 years and never win it again?'
maybe we should change that to ' win all except the tennis'

and the football; and the cycling, and the racing, and the swimming; and the skating, and the athletics and the marathon (oh no, she did win ;)
 
we won the olympic bid didn't we! I gather we already have three bangers and a roman candle bought for the opening ceremony, should be spectacular much better than Tokyo :)
 
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