Ozzie humour

25 Jan 2017
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United Kingdom
A little anecdote that tickled me at the time, and sorry but I will set the context first:
On a recent long haul flight, I ended up sitting by an Ozzie lady of about 70 years young. She was travelling with her brother and daughter. They were en route to the UK for a family funeral.

I like a few glasses of red wine, especially on long haul flights, helps pass the time, helps to sleep, if it is possible.

It was relatively morning on the plane, and they were serving breakfast. I had a red wine, with the full intention of having another or two, or three.
The Ozzie lady and I had been conversing, about Australian and UK politics, etc.
When I asked for the red wine with my breakfast, I mentioned, to the Ozzie lady, something along the lines of: "red wine for breakfast, why not". She suggested that anytime is a good time to start drinking because it will be after 6.00 pm somewhere in the world.

I gathered the Ozzie lady was not a seasoned traveller because she quietly asked me what spirits they keep on board. She seemed a little shy to ask, so I asked as though for my own interest. The stewardess said they have all the usual spirits and it would be quicker and easier for me to ask for something specific rather than for her to list all that was available.

After a short while the Ozzie lady and her daughter had a drink, and another, and another. By then we had a little party going. The stewardess even started checking regularly if we needed topping up, explaining that they soon recognise where the party is on board.

Now the important bit:
At one point I went off to the loo, and found that the Ozzie lady was kinda blocking the doorway to the loo, with the door open, and there was someone else in there also!
I could not see what was going on. I went back to my seat and explained to the Ozzie daughter that her Mother was investigating how many people she could get into the loo at the same time.
At the top of her voice, the Ozzie daughter said, "Seeing how many people my Mother can get in the ****ter at the same time, Yeah that figures!"

But the stewardess still kept our glasses topped up!
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zzzzzzz non-humour more like.

Oh the irony of wannabeFUNNY and humour in the same post.
zzzzzzz non-humour more like.

Oh the irony of wannabeFUNNY and humour in the same post.
Aah, bless. You are probably incapable of seeing the irony in your own post. :giggle:

Allow me to explain, because otherwise you will never understand. :rolleyes:
You try to make a witty response to my post by disagreeing with my humour, and telling me that you did not find it amusing. That is OK. We can all have different responses to different types of humour. (I have noticed that you find your usual homophobic vulgar comments humorous.:sick:)

But then you go on to suggest that it is ironic that I found it funny, and you did not, and that it is somehow ironic that I must be incapable of humour! :ROFLMAO:

Are you some kind of numpty?
No answer required. It is a rhetorical question! :rolleyes:

You are getting as bad as your female impersonator for making idiotic comments! :LOL:
Sorry, that was wrong of me. You always have been as bad as your female impersonator. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
The nearest you will get to being funny is if you had hummus for breakfast.
Funny you saying that. I had hummus and crudités for breakfast the other day, in fact two days in succession. Then I was going to try the guacamole but they had run out of that. :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
You should try it. That is crudités not crudities!
It is obvious that you live and breathe crudities! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
But pleasing to see you have outgrown your homophobic vulgarity.
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I'm still curious as to your daughter's dampness.
And when homophobic abuse is insufficient woody as usual resorts to his expected vulgarities. :rolleyes:

I do not need to reason with numpties like this, and his female impersonator. They demonstrate their own lack of education and ignorance all on their own. :ROFLMAO:

I am still waiting for an iota of evidence to support your allegation that I plagiarised someone else's work. (note the spelling, numpty!) :rolleyes:
You have only had four months to find a tiny scrap of evidence! :giggle::giggle: Still nothing! :LOL:
Careful. They've only got to hear a slight rumour, then maybe some of your 'mates' will be throwing you off a high roof.
In the same way if you don't keep up your "ard as nails, neo natzi, RWR rhetoric" - your mates will set fire to you or lynch you from a tree?
Gosh your tough.
You deleted your own plagarised posts! And you know it. That's good enough for me wanabeXEROX.
OMG! you still cannot spell it! Numpty! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
I suspect that the subject under discussion at the time is still a dark art to you, numpty! :D:D

I deleted it because it could be traced to me and my professional reputation, which you libeled. :(:(
I have posted it again since, to give you another chance, but due to your intransigence, and inability to justify your allegation, I removed it again. :giggle::giggle:
You have offended two professionals in as many months, so they have re-assessed their willingness to participate professionally on this site. As I calculated the other day, you have been here long enough to have offended about 80 such professionals and turned them away from participating on this site.
Well done, numpty!

So where is the evidence that justifies your allegation?

No answer, as usual. :rolleyes:

And you are still not man enough to acknowledge your mistakes. That is good enough for me.
I will admit to being wrong.
It takes a brave, intelligent, honourable man with integrity to do that. Sadly they are characteristics notably lacking in you.
Why? See below.

Where is this fabelled piece of originality then. I'll review it for you and see if it can get a bit more than an F- .
:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: By your own admission you could not understand it the first time around! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
What makes you think you will understand it the third time around? :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

I posted my paper, and within hours on the same day, you accused me of plagiarism:
Why don't you just synthesize all of that into something that is actually readable and understandable by people who are likely to be here on a diy forum, rather than plagarising someone elses stuff?
i.e. what are you on about?
Even though it was absolutely obvious, and by your own admission, you could not understand the content of the paper, or the subject,
you provided no evidence to support your accusation. If you had evidence at the time, to support your accusation, provide it now! :rolleyes:
As you are unable, and have been unable for the last four months to provide that evidence, it is obvious that you had none at the time! :rolleyes:
It was a simple fallacious attempt by you to troll and annoy another professional, as you have done again to at least one other professional, to my knowledge.
Your motives are weird and not obvious. I suspect you are simply a troll, and have no other motive. other than to try to raise your own profile, by attempting to ridicule other professionals. You are doing immense harm to the other professionals who refuse to participate on this site, and therefore deny their expertise to those seeking advice.
Perhaps you try to offend other professionals so that they do not bother hanging around and exposing your poor advice?
Is that the real reason, your insecurity causes you to offend other professionals? That would explain your inability to acknowledge your mistakes. :LOL::LOL:

Now you try to elicit a response from me in posting my paper again. Sorry, while this forum has Home Buyers Report writers like you around, offending other professionals and accusing them of heinous deeds, it does not deserve to benefit from my expertise.

Truth is, you are a plagarist. Accept it and move on, you've been caught, man up.
You have had four months to provide proof. You made your initial accusation without evidence, and you are still unable to provide an iota of evidence, after four months.
You are still unable to accept your mistake so your opening statement: "I will admit to being wrong" was a total and dishonourable lie!
Repeated fallacious comments do not constitute proof!
Accept it. you have been caught out, man up!
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Evidence woody?
You did not and could not provide any evidence when you made the initial allegation. It is obvious why. You made the allegation without any evidence because you had none then and you have none now.
Proof enough that your allegation was fallacious and malicious.
Your position is completely untenable yet you are still unable to acknowledge your mistake.

Accept it. you have been caught out, man up!
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