What do you reckon...?

Joined
2 Apr 2007
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Location
Suffolk
Country
United Kingdom
I hope this isn't too heavy for this board. Just over two years ago my daughter, who is now 31, told me and my son - her brother - that she was sexually abused by my ex-wife's partner while they lived together, when she was nine and ten years old. She told her mother a couple of days later, she's still with the partner. My daughter doesn't want to report it to the police.
My daughter also told us that during the time the abuse was going on she wrote a letter about the abuse to a school friend but didn't send it, she put it in the bin, her mother found it and asked whether it was true - my daughter said no.
I'd hoped by now my daughter would've changed her mind and report it to the police, but no.
I wrote to the partner by recorded delivery at the end of April and accused him outright of the abuse and suggested he sue me for libel, I've heard nothing.
I'd welcome any comments or ideas,
 
Sponsored Links
It's a pity your daughter won't make a complaint.

Does your ex-wife believe it?

I fear for any grandchildren.
 
Without trying to be awkward, you need to be 100% sure your daughter is telling the truth, this mans life would be ruined, by either true or untrue allegations.

If you are sure, try to get your daughter to speak to the police, as this man would be free to carry on abusing other youngsters.
Would your daughter want this to happen......
 
There's something wrong here....
1. why is your first post this sort of post and to a DIY forum?
2. If my daughter told me the same, I wouldn't write the bloke a letter, I'd be hacking away at his shins with a hatchet and rubbing his face with a surform. I swear..
So you're either a liar or something I'd rather not say on here or this post would be deleted.
 
Sponsored Links
even if if your daughter is telling the truth, then there may not now be sufficient evidence to come of this. Unless charges are pressed againt the defendant, in which he admits.

If she needs councilling, i would advise contacting Victim Support, who will be able to talk to her, and advise her what her options are.
 
The decision rest's solely with your daughter she is an adult and should have an understanding of how these things work, and how they can affect families.

It is difficult to see someone close who has been affected by this type of abuse, I know from personal experience, but they usually have their own way of dealing with this and have done for a long while.

The best you can do is offer your support to them, unconditionally, and let them lead what happens next. Stepping in without proof or permission will only highten the emotions and cause further problems in the long run.

Be strong for her and be there for her, this has happened to her NOT you, your feelings and thoughts are secondary to hers.

If there are young children around now make sure they are supervised at all times and never left alone with this person, even for a short length of time.
 
gcol said:
1. why is your first post this sort of post and to a DIY forum?
Because this is a regular poster who doesn't want to be identified.

If my daughter told me the same, I wouldn't write the bloke a letter, I'd be hacking away at his shins with a hatchet and rubbing his face with a surform.
I'd have the same urge, but I wouldn't want to come into contact with any bodily fluid from that person, or I've have to scrub it off myself with a chainsaw or something equally effective.
 
Suggest to your daughter that she talks with Victim Support and be guided by them.

That really is all you can do besides being there for her when she needs you to be there for her.

Do not seek revenge. it will do more harm than good to the situation.
 
Thanks every one for your replies.
Whether my daughter will ever report her abuser to the police I don't know, but unless she does their is an unconstrained paedophile in the community, What if this person offends again? Where would that leave my daughter and me, knowing what we knew but not doing anything about it? I've put this to my daughter, but to no avail. She has had some counselling but she hasn't been persuaded. She has said that, despite everything, she wants to become close to her mother and if she reports him, it will drive her (her mother) even further away. I find it quite a dilemma. Thanks.
 
Softus said:
gcol said:
1. why is your first post this sort of post and to a DIY forum?
Because this is a regular poster who doesn't want to be identified.
How do you know this?
Softus said:
If my daughter told me the same, I wouldn't write the bloke a letter, I'd be hacking away at his shins with a hatchet and rubbing his face with a surform.
I'd have the same urge, but I wouldn't want to come into contact with any bodily fluid from that person, or I've have to scrub it off myself with a chainsaw or something equally effective.
Do you have any kids of your own? Personally I'd effin bathe in his blood.
 
Sponsored Links
Back
Top