Village of Dementia?

[Harry Bloomfield]

The dog decided it was nice out at 2:30am, and woke me up to insist we went for a quick walk, so I got up to oblige her - via our usual 30 minute route passing the church at the end of the street, her off the lead. She used to reach up with her paw, and tap the edge of the mattress to wake me, but now she just uses her chin to rattle the mattress. We only got as far as opposite the church, when she began barking at something I couldn't see in the dark. An elderly woman tucked into the bushes, dressed all in black.

I asked her if she was OK, was she waiting for someone, she said she was and waiting, so I walked on a few steps. Before asking her if she was sure she was OK, she replied yes, she was waiting for the police, she was locked out and she had been waiting there four hours, hoping the police might go past on another call and she could flag them down - seemed a bit unlikely, so I offered to ring them and ask how long before they might turn up. She claimed her daughter had deliberately locked her out, and there were people living in the loft of her bungalow. On ringing them they wanted her age, date of birth and her address, to track down her original call. First she said she was 60, which didn't fit her DOB, then she decided she was actually 80. She only knew her house number, not the name of the street, though she could point to it. They said a car was on route - I told them I would remain with her, until they arrived. The police arrived 20 minutes later, so I left them to it.

It's around 11months since my then partner was out taking the dog for a middle of the night walk and ended up bringing a lost elderly man back here in his PJ's, to await the police collecting him.

 

[Trazor]

I suppose you don't remember the police car taking you and your dog home......

 

[Harry Bloomfield]

I suppose you don't remember the police car taking you and your dog home......

I wouldn't remember, because they didn't/wouldn't need to - the dog well knows the way home

 

[FlatulentFreddie]

The dog decided it was nice out at 2:30am, and woke me up to insist we went for a quick walk, so I got up to oblige her - via our usual 30 minute route passing the church at the end of the street, her off the lead. She used to reach up with her paw, and tap the edge of the mattress to wake me, but now she just uses her chin to rattle the mattress. We only got as far as opposite the church, when she began barking at something I couldn't see in the dark. An elderly woman tucked into the bushes, dressed all in black.

I asked her if she was OK, was she waiting for someone, she said she was and waiting, so I walked on a few steps. Before asking her if she was sure she was OK, she replied yes, she was waiting for the police, she was locked out and she had been waiting there four hours, hoping the police might go past on another call and she could flag them down - seemed a bit unlikely, so I offered to ring them and ask how long before they might turn up. She claimed her daughter had deliberately locked her out, and there were people living in the loft of her bungalow. On ringing them they wanted her age, date of birth and her address, to track down her original call. First she said she was 60, which didn't fit her DOB, then she decided she was actually 80. She only knew her house number, not the name of the street, though she could point to it. They said a car was on route - I told them I would remain with her, until they arrived. The police arrived 20 minutes later, so I left them to it.

It's around 11months since my then partner was out taking the dog for a middle of the night walk and ended up bringing a lost elderly man back here in his PJ's, to await the police collecting him.

Who has got dementia you or your partner ?
I'm not sure about dementia but you seem demented getting out of bed for a dog walk at 2.30 am

 

[Harry Bloomfield]

Who has got dementia you or your partner ?

Neither, but thank you for your concern.

I'm not sure about dementia but you seem demented getting out of bed for a dog walk at 2.30 am

How do you arrive at that conclusion? Many people do go for a walk in the middle of the night, when they are unable to sleep and don't forget the exercise possibly helped two people who really were suffering from dementia.

 

[Mottie]

I wouldn't remember, because they didn't/wouldn't need to - the dog well knows the way home

I've told several people that dementia joke you told us on here last week and they all thought it was hilarious.

 

[Notch7]

The dog decided it was nice out at 2:30am, and woke me up to insist we went for a quick walk, so I got up to oblige her - via our usual 30 minute route passing the church at the end of the street, her off the lead. She used to reach up with her paw, and tap the edge of the mattress to wake me, but now she just uses her chin to rattle the mattress. We only got as far as opposite the church, when she began barking at something I couldn't see in the dark. An elderly woman tucked into the bushes, dressed all in black.

I asked her if she was OK, was she waiting for someone, she said she was and waiting, so I walked on a few steps. Before asking her if she was sure she was OK, she replied yes, she was waiting for the police, she was locked out and she had been waiting there four hours, hoping the police might go past on another call and she could flag them down - seemed a bit unlikely, so I offered to ring them and ask how long before they might turn up. She claimed her daughter had deliberately locked her out, and there were people living in the loft of her bungalow. On ringing them they wanted her age, date of birth and her address, to track down her original call. First she said she was 60, which didn't fit her DOB, then she decided she was actually 80. She only knew her house number, not the name of the street, though she could point to it. They said a car was on route - I told them I would remain with her, until they arrived. The police arrived 20 minutes later, so I left them to it.

It's around 11months since my then partner was out taking the dog for a middle of the night walk and ended up bringing a lost elderly man back here in his PJ's, to await the police collecting him.

My father in law, when he had dementia went out to look for his wife, we frantically drove around the village and thank goodness managed to find him just before it got dark.

It was a massively stressful few hours.

 

[Mottie]

The MIL has suddenly got it, bad, after a UTI and a spell in hospital and she is running Mrs Mottie and her sister ragged.

 

[Harry Bloomfield]

My father in law, when he had dementia went out to look for his wife, we frantically drove around the village and thank goodness managed to find him just before it got dark.

It was a massively stressful few hours.

I can imagine it was quite stressful. Though even more stressful for the one suffering - it's difficult to imagine going out of your front door, with no real purpose in mind, and feeling completely lost once out of your door, not being able to remember your name or where you live. I've mostly been spared having to deal with them, my only previous experience was a company care home, for management, which I was charged with popping in once per month to check round for developing issues. They had to have code locks and alarms on every door, to prevent them 'escaping'. The staff showed and had to show tremendous patience with the inmates, all one time managers.

In both incidents I began the thread with, they were extremely lucky that someone was out dog walking at a strange hour, and caring enough to check if they were OK.

 

[Notch7]

The MIL has suddenly got it, bad, after a UTI and a spell in hospital and she is running Mrs Mottie and her sister ragged.

My Dad got a bladder infection.

my sister found him naked in the bath with no water in it, he claimed 4 men put him in the bath.

By an unbelievable chance, my sister went to visit my Dad on that day, which not her normal day - otherwise he would’ve been in the bath for 2 days.

I got him out, getting a 90 year old frail, confused man out of a bath is a real challenge……I can tell you.

 

[Mottie]

My Dad got a bladder infection.

my sister found him naked in the bath with no water in it, he claimed 4 men put him in the bath.

By an unbelievable chance, my sister went to visit my Dad on that day, which not her normal day - otherwise he would’ve been in the bath for 2 days.

I got him out, getting a 90 year old frail, confused man out of a bath is a real challenge……I can tell you.

Yep, my dad fell backwards into an (empty) bath and my mum had to get the burly builder from next door and even he found it a struggle.

The MIL is 'seeing' all sorts of people who come to visit her. We have careers coming in three times a day to feed her and every night at 7.00 Mrs Mottie has to phone her up to talk her through taking a pill. Almost every night she says "but I’m not on any medication". Mrs Mottie and her sister have an appointment with the GP this week to formally assess her and if it’s confirmed, the POA will kick in and they can start making financial decisions for her. We've had to have the gas cooker disconnected for her safety as she can’t comprehend simple food heating instructions (the carers use the microwave to heat her meals and are not allowed to cook anyway). She's been a bit forgetful over the last 12 months or so but nothing really concerning but it multiplied tenfold or more overnight with the bladder infection - it is frightening how quickly it came on. The only thing she hasn’t forgot is our phone number which she sometimes calls at 3.00 in the morning!

 

[gant]

There's always a silver lining.

 

[Notch7]

Yep, my dad fell backwards into an (empty) bath and my mum had to get the burly builder from next door and even he found it a struggle.

The MIL is 'seeing' all sorts of people who come to visit her. We have careers coming in three times a day to feed her and every night at 7.00 Mrs Mottie has to phone her up to talk her through taking a pill. Almost every night she says "but I’m not on any medication". Mrs Mottie and her sister have an appointment with the GP this week to formally assess her and if it’s confirmed, the POA will kick in and they can start making financial decisions for her. We've had to have the gas cooker disconnected for her safety as she can’t comprehend simple food heating instructions (the carers use the microwave to heat her meals and are not allowed to cook anyway). She's been a bit forgetful over the last 12 months or so but nothing really concerning but it multiplied tenfold or more overnight with the bladder infection - it is frightening how quickly it came on. The only thing she hasn’t forgot is our phone number which she sometimes calls at 3.00 in the morning!

It’s a hard time for you both, I’ve been through it. Its a constant worry never knowing when the phone will ring.

My sister and I went through this with my Dad. His eyesight was failing and he used to ring my sister during the night to ask what the time was.

He fell numerous times and called me on his mobile. I drove over there many times in the night with my wife to pick him up.

It’s good your MIL has carers: my Dad flatly refused for a long time.

We got Wiltshire farm foods, they would deliver frozen meals once a week, they would use the key safe and put the meals in the freezer, then carers would then cook them in the microwave.

Eventually my Dad ended up “micro living“ - he had a hospital bed in the corner of the lounge.

 

[Mottie]

We got Wiltshire farm foods, they would deliver frozen meals once a week, they would use the key safe and put the meals in the freezer, then carers would then cook them in the microwave.

Currently we have the carers appointed by the hospital for the first six weeks or whatever come in three times a day for breakfast, lunch and dinner but they are pretty useless. She's not had the same one twice, times are variable and they are just there to warm her meals up and check that she eats them, nothing else needed in the way of personal care etc. We had been having the Wiltshire farm foods delivered but she's decided she doesn’t like them now and sent the last delivery driver packing - they sent me a refund. When Mrs Mottie looked in the freezer she still had 8 meals left when she should have had none. Apparently she had been telling the carers that she had already eaten so they took her word for it and didn’t even come in. We are currently looking round to get a private company (or a suitable private individual) in that can guarantee the same person comes around the same time on the days they are needed. Mrs Motties sister goes round Mondays afternoon after work and does her a tea, Mrs Mottie does the same on Wednesday and they both go round on Friday and take her shopping, clean the house, change the beds, have tea with her etc. They are going to have a sit down with their brother on Thursday and try to get the lazy git to pop in for a decent amount of time, on one day at the weekend - he's always 'busy'.

 

[Odds]

The nhs never send the same carer twice; something to do with getting attached to a patient. This causes confusion and anxiety in people with Alzheimers but such trivial concerns are duly noted...then ignored. Getting a private carer is better but can be costly, especially if it's a live-in position. If the level of care is complex and difficult then it could be more than £1000 a week.