Parents no longer referred to as mum & dad in school.

[conny]

My wife took our granddaughter to school today as her young baby brother is in hospital.
My wife explained who she was and why she was bringing L to school and she, or I, may be picking her up tonight.
The teacher asked who was L's Primary Care Giver? So my wife said, "Oh, what is her mums name? It's A** D*****."
The teacher replied, "We don't call them mum and dad anymore, as some children are fostered and it could make them feel unwanted."
WTF?????

When we told our daughter she was livid! She said this particular teacher was new this term so, as a parent governor, she will be raising this with the Head Governor tomorrow morning.

Where do these people get the idea, they can just start at a new school and introduce their rules/views on how things should be done?

 

[JohnD]

There's always been children whose parents might be widowed, divorced, separated, in prison or hospital, unmarried, lesbian etc; or who might be fostered, adopted, orphaned or in a children's home.

Many people will insensitivity refer to "your mum" when that person might be dead or absent.

No doubt you can think of a better form of words.

What is it?

 

[conny]

Teachers should know the parent(s), of each of their children and speak accordingly.

 

[JohnD]

No doubt you can think of a better form of words.

You can't, then.

 

[motorbiking]

the teacher has a point, but they should also be ready to use language you prefer.

 

[Mottie]

No doubt you can think of a better form of words.

You can't, then.

What would be your suggestion?

 

[conny]

There's always been children whose parents might be widowed, divorced, separated, in prison or hospital, unmarried, lesbian etc; or who might be fostered, adopted, orphaned or in a children's home.

Many people will insensitivity refer to "your mum" when that person might be dead or absent.

No doubt you can think of a better form of words.

What is it?

The teachers should know which children are not living with their parents, (for whatever reason), and find out before hand, maybe through the childs social worker, how the individual child refers to their guardian. Some may call them mum/dad, others may call them by their forename and others may yet call them by Mrs/Mr &&&&&.
The point I am getting at is, teachers/schools should not change their policies/rules without discussions through the governing body and without consultation with parents/guardians to hear their views.

 

[ellal]

What would be your suggestion?

Stop believing the RWM!

 

[charliegolf]

Teachers should know the parent(s), of each of their children and speak accordingly.

Exactly this. No other methodology needed. Our great nephew's legal guardian is his great-nan (long story). His teacher would simply say, "Ask Nan to see me later.", or "Tell Nan to check your reading bag- I sent her a note." etc.

As for letters home, I was able to hold out till I finished 'headmastering' in 2019, with the salutation, 'Dear parents'.

 

[algas]

My mum died when I was 11 , people always said to me things like "where is your mum" etc I just told them she's dead, didn't do me any harm, too many snowflakes at it again!

 

[Deleted member 294929]

There's always been children whose parents might be widowed, divorced, separated, in prison or hospital, unmarried, lesbian etc; or who might be fostered, adopted, orphaned or in a children's home.

Many people will insensitivity refer to "your mum" when that person might be dead or absent.

No doubt you can think of a better form of words.

What is it?

I'd used Mum & Dad unless it wasn't her mum and Dad

 

[Mottie]

What would be your suggestion?

Looks like you don’t have one then.

 

[Deleted member 294929]

Looks like you don’t have one then.

Give him a chance. It's not an easy question.

 

[diy_fun_uk]

50 years from now they will look back in amazement that we openly used descriptions like male, female, mum, dad, brother, sister.
You think I'm wrong?
You sitting there laughing at my assertion?
I'd assert 50 years ago they wouldn't have believed where we are now around all this stuff.

An increasing drive to become ever more vanilla so as not to offend the <1% in whatever group might possibly be offended.

 

[Justin Passing]

Too many human units with alternatively arranged anatomy.

(D!ckheads)