Tory party questionnaire:
1) how many parties did you attend A) only one B) 1 to 5 C) all 16
2) how many suitcases of booze did you drink
3) did you chunder
4) did you leave after 3am
5) why is Nadine Dorries so thick
6) why is Gove always pizzed
7) has Carrie left and moved in with Zak Goldsmith.
8) does Boris own a comb