The benefits of having a boy...........

[DIYedboy]

I've had a young bloke with me all week, as we all know, they're all useless, but sometimes they can put a smile on a wizened old fart's face.............

I was about to start dot n dabbin, so I said to him 'go n put 4 inches of water in the bottom of that yellow bucket' then I thought he wouldn't know what inches was, so then I said 'that's 100mil. in your language', off he toddled to the tap. then a few minutes later he came back with the bucket still empty and a confused look on his face n said '100ml...................is that 4 tablespoons?'...............it was at least 5 minutes before I could stop laughing. God bless him, useless for 5 days, but an absolute gem in every other respect!!!!

 

[EddieM]

I've had a young bloke with me all week, as we all know, they're all useless, but sometimes they can put a smile on a wizened old fart's face.............

I was about to start dot n dabbin, so I said to him 'go n put 4 inches of water in the bottom of that yellow bucket' then I thought he wouldn't know what inches was, so then I said 'that's 100mil. in your language', off he toddled to the tap. then a few minutes later he came back with the bucket still empty and a confused look on his face n said '100ml...................is that 4 tablespoons?'...............it was at least 5 minutes before I could stop laughing. God bless him, useless for 5 days, but an absolute gem in every other respect!!!!

we are all born useless. some don't progress much

 

[OwainDIYer]

"it's about the depth of your iphone"

 

[Seafarer1966]

As an apprentice surveyor in the coal industry many years ago I had my share of ribbing. My owd grandad had given me some invaluable advice..."never refuse to do something you're asked to do....just don't do it well....and don't react in any way".

Whenever I was told to make tea I'd use lukewarm water from the tap, pre-used tea bags out of the kitchen bin, and if it was for one of the pit deputies (Seamus you bar steward...probably dead now as he was a bottle of scotch a day alchie even back then) I'd collect whatever creepy crawlies I could from the store room and put those in the teapot as well.

The site manager once told me to wash his car. I made sure it was covered in streaks when I'd finished. He never asked me again and used to make the other apprentice do it.

When I left for pastures new I superglued a couple of the locks on certain persons lockers (those that had given me the most hassle). They had to use a pry bar to get into them. I rode off on my Honda C90 into the sunset p155ing myself laughing.

 

[OwainDIYer]

Whenever I was told to make tea I'd use lukewarm water from the tap, pre-used tea bags out of the kitchen bin, and if it was for one of the pit deputies (Seamus you bar steward...probably dead now as he was a bottle of scotch a day alchie even back then) I'd collect whatever creepy crawlies I could from the store room and put those in the teapot as well.

I used to use the dregs from the mugs in the washing-up pile and reheat it in the microwave. I was once asked "is this tea or coffee?" and had to confess it was both.

 

[Mottie]

I sent a trainee round the shop on a hot day to get 'half a dozen' cans of coke. He came back with nothing because he didn’t know how many 'half a dozen' was. I asked him why he hadn’t asked the bloke in the shop how many it was. He said “I did, and he didn’t know either!” Pffft. Kids!

 

[Ian H]

Mine was doing a mix in the barrow a few weeks ago, he said it didn't seem right.


He hadn't put the cement in!!!

 

[Brigadier]

Mine smashed a treasured (Euro 2012 beer) glass the other day, while we were out.
My youngest (who was with us at the time) was p!ss!ng himself at the 'phone conversation, where my wife was explaining how to use a dustpan and brush.
He's almost 16..........

 

[Gerrydelasel]

it was at least 5 minutes before I could stop laughing.

Seriously? A full 5 mins? You sound like a crazy person.

 

[Roger928]

My bossman had a 16 year old in his employment who wants to be a joiner.
Told him today not to come back and says he'll write him a good reference.
My reference would go like, "Lazy, bad attitude, can't join his fingers. Best bet might be shelf stacker in tescoes. And is competent using a modern mobile phone"

 

[DIYedboy]

Sadly, most young blokes have lived an easy life, so in effect they are still mental children that have some academic ability but absolutely no hint of any hard life lived common sense. Being children, they get bored easily and have no motivation to graft. I reckon only 15% of young blokes have their head together with the correct work ethic. I bet a boy from a hard background will always work harder than one who has the right phone and trainers. Most tradesmen I know have long since given up on having a boy due to their laziness and lack of interest..........

 

[OwainDIYer]

And the girls are no better, they think a degree in Horoscopes and Social Media will get them a job in a dotcom but they aren't willing to put the effort into learning shorthand-typewriting and tennis.

 

[Seafarer1966]

Quite agree with DIY and Owain. Kids aren't interested in the prospect of standing on a scaffold on a frosty morning laying bricks. They want to be musicians, website millionaires and other such pipe dream stuff.

Just to finish the story in my previous post:

The other apprentice (the one who got to wash the site managers car because I deliberately made such a bad job of it) lost his rag one day with the blokes, said he was fed up making tea, washing cars and being spoken down to and told the blokes on site he wanted more respect. During this outburst he uttered a few expletives. Now even I knew that a 17 year old kid didn't speak to a 55 year old pit man like that. His fate was sealed.

A few days later I got told by a couple of the blokes to be in the canteen next morning early without fail. They stressed that I didn't want to miss what was going to happen.

Next day, dying of curiosity, I got to the canteen. There was most of the workforce, with the victim (the other apprentice) tied face down to a table with his trousers and underpants round his ankles. We had a machine driver called Hoss, due to the impressive size of his appendage, it was as thick as a milk bottle and wasn't even standing to attention. Hoss had his weapon out and was prodding the lads head with it, telling him that the site blokes were all somewhat annoyed with him, and Hoss was going to mount him and give him a good seeing to and that when he'd finished the lad would have to sit down to wee like a woman. The apprentice was squealing like a pig by this time and crying. The blokes were all cheering and egging Hoss on (he didn't carry out the threat). Eventually they untied the lad who went home in a state of distress. He came back a week later than handed his notice in. The police would have arrested folk these days for less.

Different times, different world.

 

[DIYedboy]

Sadly young blokes don't realise a boy cannot be lippy to an old lag, I started off as an apprentice car mechanic, if anyone lipped an old timer he would lift the poor fella above his head, throw him against a wall n then the human projectile would drop into the tyre bath.................happy days!!!
If you think that during the Vietnam war the average age of the American conscripts was 19 (the poor little sods) imagine our lot getting shipped out to war!!

 

[foxhole]

My 14 year old would rather wait for the dishwasher to do a 30 min wash than wash he favourite spoon by hand.