Sorry to hear of your situation. Hope you're ok.
Not belittling your circumstances at all but, I know how you feel, up to a point.
I had 18 months off work with anxiety and depression then never went back.
I refused drugs.
I did however, speak to a therapist weekly for the 18 months. Not an NHS one, they were useless. A private one. It was a perfect space to say anything, everything and nothing. It was a godsend.
I walked the dog. Big long walks. I sat and stared into space like a zombie, for hours. I couldn't think straight. I wasn't fun to be with at all.
I counted my blessings. List daily, three things to be grateful for.
Eventually the fog cleared.
I found another project that I could do with my days. I was lucky that I didn't have to go back to the same workplace.
For me, exercise, fresh-air and big open-spaces was/is my saviour.
Yes, I'm one of those 'lyra-clad w@nkers' that everyone moans about but, it's my sanity place. Nothing more to say.
Get well soon.
I see you.