weird customers
- Thread starter jeffreyw
- Start date
Sponsored Links
- Joined
- 11 Jan 2004
- Messages
- 42,765
- Reaction score
- 2,641
- Country
Two customers have point blank refused to allow me to use their toilet.
Well, if you won't flush after dropping the kids off at the pool, what can you expect
.I had a client who had an argument with her other half, slipped him a Mickey Finn and torched the house, with him still in it. Despite there apparently being fourteen seats of fire according to the fire service, he somehow roused himself and apparently fled to safety by hurling himself out of a first floor window.
He refused to press charges - why, who knows - so the CPS had to drop the case; as such, she didn't get done for arson, so her insurers had to pay out for the repair works, hence my involvement to do the repairs schedule.
She was absolutely vertically mahoosif, but entirely in proportion. Tried to get a photo of her to take back to the office, but every time I got the camera out, she hid around the corner of a door. Very strange, all in all...
Sponsored Links
V
vinty
I was working at a house repairing the roof, as i was climbing up the ladder i looked through the bedroom window. There was a bloke in a chair with his back to me, i noticed he was rocking back and forward in his chair and his head resting on the back of the chair, his face was bloated and was a strange purple colour, he was also making a strange ga ga noise.
I realised he was in some sort of distress, i recognized the symptoms of a heart attack. Luckily the window was open so i climbed in and ran over to him,as i came up behind him i put my hand on his shoulder, next thing i knew he leapt out of the chair and a magazine which had been in his lap fell to the floor, it was entitled 'girls, girls, girls'.
He just stood staring at me i saw that his trousers were down around his ankles. I was so embarrassed i just looked up at the ceiling looking for the damp patch from the leaking roof.
I realised he was in some sort of distress, i recognized the symptoms of a heart attack. Luckily the window was open so i climbed in and ran over to him,as i came up behind him i put my hand on his shoulder, next thing i knew he leapt out of the chair and a magazine which had been in his lap fell to the floor, it was entitled 'girls, girls, girls'.
He just stood staring at me i saw that his trousers were down around his ankles. I was so embarrassed i just looked up at the ceiling looking for the damp patch from the leaking roof.
I did some work for my mother-in-law.
Never again.
Never again.
S
Soggy_weetabix
Have had a couple.
Man who loved to wander around with penis hanging out his trousers.
Woman who could not turn left
Man (with other man 30 years his junior) watching porn in their lounge.
Woman who told me she was poisoned by my gamma rays (from my vacuum)
A few more have just been a bit odd, but not in the above calibre.
David
Man who loved to wander around with penis hanging out his trousers.
Woman who could not turn left
Man (with other man 30 years his junior) watching porn in their lounge.
Woman who told me she was poisoned by my gamma rays (from my vacuum)
A few more have just been a bit odd, but not in the above calibre.
David
N
namsag
Had one woman complain about fumes from back boiler , all i did was light a match and she ran ran out into garden to throw up . Then come in complain about the purple smoke coming out of the skirting boards. Her soninlaw was sitting reading the paper as she ranted on . I looked over at him and said is she fekking nuts he rolled his eyes and said yep and her daughter aint much better.
Had one old couple getting hassle from neighbours in mid 50`s who banged them up at 2 in morning storm into the house and say red demand light on telle was keeping them awake.
That was after i had proved boiler was not making any noise what so ever as they said they could hear that and fridge..
When all attempts at diplomacy failed i told them that woman was nuts and husband to fekking scared to tell her. Apologised to my customer for losing temper to which she thanked me and told her own husband he should have said it weeks ago.
Same as soggy had loads say about gamma/micro radiation waves
Had them saying the spacemen where after them
Some old woman who used to wee in middle of floor and say she had a water leak every few days.
Had one old couple getting hassle from neighbours in mid 50`s who banged them up at 2 in morning storm into the house and say red demand light on telle was keeping them awake.
That was after i had proved boiler was not making any noise what so ever as they said they could hear that and fridge..
When all attempts at diplomacy failed i told them that woman was nuts and husband to fekking scared to tell her. Apologised to my customer for losing temper to which she thanked me and told her own husband he should have said it weeks ago.
Same as soggy had loads say about gamma/micro radiation waves
Had them saying the spacemen where after them
Some old woman who used to wee in middle of floor and say she had a water leak every few days.
C
confidentincompetent
The house I started at this morning. The lady went off to work and left me to it.I worked all morning stripping paper off a bedroom, on my way to and from bathroom had to pass a bedroom, with door wide open, all in darkness, and the usual mess ( ransacked) of a teenager. I worked till 4.30pm, just as I was going down the stairs I nearly **** myself as a 20 stone bloke (in his 30's) loomed out the shadows of this room. I said hi (shakily) didnt hear you come in, He said I aint bin anywhere.
Seems he's been in that room all day?? will find out more tomoz...lol[/url]
Seems he's been in that room all day?? will find out more tomoz...lol[/url]
I think the title weird customer is totally inappropriate.
It should be " sane customers", coz the magority of them are totally gaga
Mind you there would not be many answering the thread
It should be " sane customers", coz the magority of them are totally gaga
Mind you there would not be many answering the thread
N
namsag
This one could also go into famous people topic if it is ever proved right. Worked in the guys house who claims to be prince philips love child (was in papers few years ago) pictures of philip all over house, he was a right pain in the ass an had the stupid name of Gunther Focke so you could imagine how you could wind him up with pronunciation.
Few years back snagged a new build ( only the H/S/L) caulk and paint for a builder mate. Phoned, client seemed really nice made appointment and turned up. Knocked on door no answer, saw curtain twitching so I waved and showed her my paint kettle and brush. She went mental and was running around screaming her head off. Gave me a fright so I legged it. Phoned her when I got home and she apologised and said I startled her. Made another appointment and turned up again. Exactly the same thing happened with the same conversation on the phone. Turned up for a third time and the same thing happened again. banged on window and shouted she was a nutter and to feck off cos I wer'nt comming back. Phoned my mate and told him and he said "yeh she was like that when we were doing the new extension" billed him three days the tw@t
billed him three days the tw@t when on call out for local authority out of hours contract, was called out at 2.30 am for woman who had lost keys, so had to gain entry
during the process a neighbour came out usual thing how long are you going to be etc. usual standard reply, a lot quicker if tw@ts like you don't keep asking stupid questions, the lady seemed very pleased that some one had stood up to her bullying neighbour. and said oh thank you would you like a cup of tea. not being one to refuse I said yes please Ill only be a couple of minutes just changing the lock so she put the kettle on.
when i had finished she said oh you don't know how grateful I am thank you so much please sit down ,so I sat down on the sofa where she gave me a cup of tea complete with saucer.
so cup in one hand saucer in other there i was drinking my tea. when she came and sat next to me and said,again "oh I am so grateful thank you "at that point. she sat next to me and swung her legs over mine and lifted her top exposing her breasts and said what do you think to those?
i was pined down by the legs cup in one hand saucer in the other. and replied oh very nice. she must have been 60,could not belive it drank my tea and made my excuses and left.
the following day I reported this incident to the local authority. where upon my arrival to fill out a report all the office staff were sniggering when I went in to see the contracts manager he was rolling with laughing. and said oh its nutty anny she is one of the ones that have been released into the community (abandoned more like) and not to worry
I then requested that this property be put on our cautious list where two men must attend at any time . when the manager asked why I said so I have I man to hold my cup and saucer for me.
during the process a neighbour came out usual thing how long are you going to be etc. usual standard reply, a lot quicker if tw@ts like you don't keep asking stupid questions, the lady seemed very pleased that some one had stood up to her bullying neighbour. and said oh thank you would you like a cup of tea. not being one to refuse I said yes please Ill only be a couple of minutes just changing the lock so she put the kettle on.
when i had finished she said oh you don't know how grateful I am thank you so much please sit down ,so I sat down on the sofa where she gave me a cup of tea complete with saucer.
so cup in one hand saucer in other there i was drinking my tea. when she came and sat next to me and said,again "oh I am so grateful thank you "at that point. she sat next to me and swung her legs over mine and lifted her top exposing her breasts and said what do you think to those?
i was pined down by the legs cup in one hand saucer in the other. and replied oh very nice. she must have been 60,could not belive it drank my tea and made my excuses and left.
the following day I reported this incident to the local authority. where upon my arrival to fill out a report all the office staff were sniggering when I went in to see the contracts manager he was rolling with laughing. and said oh its nutty anny she is one of the ones that have been released into the community (abandoned more like) and not to worry
I then requested that this property be put on our cautious list where two men must attend at any time . when the manager asked why I said so I have I man to hold my cup and saucer for me.
Sponsored Links
