Welsh

[JBR]

An Irishman was in a pub and saw two big girls by the bar.
Both had strange accents, so he said "Are you two girls from Scotland?"
One screamed "WALES, you frigging idiot!"
He immediately apologized and said,
"Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

Dai had proposed to Megan and been accepted.
"But", said Megan, "before we get married I must tell you something dreadful about my past life".
"No," said Dai, "I won't hear of it. You can tell me after we're married."
After they were married and had set off for their honeymoon in Penarth, Megan again brought up the subject of her "dreadful secret".
No," said Dai, "it can wait. Tell me when we're in bed together, that'll be soon enough".
"That night as they got into bed Megan declared "Well, Dai, now I really do have to tell you my secret. You see, I'm a virgin."
Dai didn't say a word but put on his clothes and travelled all the way back to his mother's house.
"Dai!" said his mother, "what are you doing here, you're supposed to be on your honeymoon."
"It's no good Mam", said Dai, "I've had to leave Megan; it turns out she's a virgin".
"Well, Dai," said his mother, "in that case you were quite right to come home.
If she's not good enough for the rest of the village she's not good enough for you".

 

[Hysteresis]

Dai and Blodwyn this time.
They lived next to each other in a welsh village, Dai desperately fancied Blodwyn but did not know how to approach her. His friend advised that when she went to to outside toilet t the bottom of the garden, Dai should take the opportunity to talk to her on her return. Good Idea said Dia.
The following day on her return from the Bottom of the Garden, Dai approached her with, "Hi Blodwyn, Have you been for a SH1T then?"

 

[JBR]

Silly man. We all know that ladies don't s**t.

The Queen, of course, has a lady in waiting to do it for her.

 

[Hysteresis]

How silly of me, I just knew that story wasn't true when I heard it, but couldn't think for the life of me where it was wrong. Thanks JBR for helping me out. I just thought Welsh ladies may do it, but I just didn't know for sure.

 

[JBR]

How silly of me, I just knew that story wasn't true when I heard it, but couldn't think for the life of me where it was wrong. Thanks JBR for helping me out. I just thought Welsh ladies may do it, but I just didn't know for sure.

I'm pretty sure English ladies don't, but I don't really know about the Welsh. Do Welsh men s**t the same way as English men?

I don't know whether there are any Welsh men on this forum. If so, perhaps they could tell me.

 

[Hysteresis]

I'm not Welsh, but I believe the Welsh produce **** from the upper end of their bodies to us English people.

 

[JBR]

I'm not Welsh, but I believe the Welsh produce s**t from the upper end of their bodies to us English people.

 

[gremlin16]

A farmer was out on his Welsh hillside tending his flock one day, when he saw a man drinking with a cupped hand from the stream which ran down from one of his fields. Realising the danger, he shouted over to the man, 'Paid a yfed y dwr! Mae'n ych-y-fi!' [Don't drink the water. It's disgusting!]

The man at the stream lifted his head and put a cupped hand to his ear, shrugged his shoulders at the farmer, and carried on drinking.

Realising the man at the stream couldn't hear him, the farmer moved closer, 'Paid a yfed! Dwr ych-y-fi! Defaid yn cachu yn y dwr!' [Don't drink. Water's disgusting. Sheep poo in the water.]

Still the walker couldn't hear the farmer. Finally the farmer walked right up to the man at the stream and once again said again, 'Dwr yn ych-y-fi! Paid a'i yfed!'. [Water's disgusting. Don't drink it!]

'I'm dreadfully sorry my good man, I can't understand a word you say dear boy! Can't you speak English?' Said the man at the stream, in a splendid English accent.

'Oh I see', said the farmer, 'I was just saying, if you use both hands you can get more in........ !

 

[JBR]

Just out of interest, can I assume that cachu = poo?

If so, I may never eat cashew nuts again.