A terrible feeling of guilt

[anobium]

I have had this feeling of guilt for some days now which refuses to go away.
A feeling that maybe I could have helped somebody.
Every morning for the past 5 years I religiously take my dog for his morning walk and invariably we see other people walking their dogs.
My dog is on the boisterous side and is inclined to bark at other dogs and naturally the owners tend to keep their distance as my dog is rather fierce looking.
I must stress however that my dog is a sheep in wolves clothing, and she has never attacked either another animal or a human being.
In fact recently a neighbour has admitted to me that as soon as he saw me with my dog he would cross over to the other side of the street, this went on for about 3 years until I showed him just how soft she is .
Now I can't keep the neighbour away from the dog.!
I digress, during our morning walks as I said I met many people from a distance and bade them good morning with the exception of one or two who knew my dog well enough to approach me and have a conversation.
One of those who I met from a distance also had a lively dog, but not as big as mine and I must confess it was better behaved.
In writing this it's just occured to me that I'm a bit like my dog, fierce looking but a sheep in wolves clothing.
Anyway the owner always had a smile on his face and never failed to acknowledge me even when my dog was making a nuisance of herself.
I used to think to myself enviously, there goes a man without a care in the world, if only I could be like him.
Last week he went missing from his home and his body was found some days later, drowned.
Apparently he had comitted suicide so I am lead to believe, why I have no idea.
Whilst I am pretty sure it would have made no difference I have this feeling that I should have made an effort to make some sort of contact with him in all the years that I met him .
Who knows maybe I could have helped, now I will never know.
His death has made me realise just how fortunate I am, I have a loving family a good social life, plenty of hobbies, friends, and I have no serious money worries.
Why then could I not have given a few minutes of my time to help somebody.
Thank you for allowing me to get this off my chest.

 

[Bahco]

Deppression never shows itself until it is too late.

 

[megawatt]

Don't beat yourself up for not having this guys problems and having a normal happy life.

Nor for not doing anything differently ... Hindsight is a wonderful thing.


MW

 

[Spark123]

Hey, don't get yourself down about it. The only person who could stop it was himself. Looking back on things and can you do something different is pretty normal, the fact is you probably couldn't.
I've been in a similar situation before, it isn't nice when you think you should have been reading the signs but looking back a few years down the line, the signs probably wouldn't, to me, have added up to what happened.

 

[Softus]

It's a sad thing, anobium, but look at it another way - the contact that you did make with him might be the sole reason he didn't do himself in even sooner.
_______________

Edit: clearly I should have said that my post was intended for anobium, not for any random fool to misinterpret and comment on.

 

[megawatt]

That's a "glass half full" way of saying what I said earlier

 

[W_Axl_Rose]

It's a sad thing, anobium, but look at it another way - the contact that you did make with him might be the sole reason he didn't do himself in even sooner.

nail on head.



with the little info posted it can be easily assumed that the comfort of the dog walk was an emotionally postive crutch for the poor bloke.

 

[masona]

Last week he went missing from his home and his body was found some days later, drowned.
Apparently he had comitted suicide so I am lead to believe, why I have no idea.
Whilst I am pretty sure it would have made no difference I have this feeling that I should have made an effort to make some sort of contact with him in all the years that I met him .
Who knows maybe I could have helped, now I will never know.

I'm finding it hard to write this, I got to start somewhere, my father committed suicide after suffering depression for many years, there is nothing you can do about it, not even drugs, shock treatments or talk him out of it, I did everything I could to try and help him. I generally believe you are born with it. Anobium you did nothing wrong, so don't feel guilty, you maybe feeling a bit low what I called a little blip in life.

 

[Softus]

That's very moving, masona, and I have enormous respect for you for writing about it.

 

[joe-90]

Whilst suicide is a tragedy for all involved there are times when I believe that it is the right decision for the individual.
If someone can only look forward to a life of sadness, despair, and hopelessness then maybe for that person it is the right decision. Sometimes the allure of peace is just too strong to deny.

As the song says:

"Soon there'll be candles
And prayers that are said I know
But let them not weep
Let them know that I'm glad to go"

 

[bernardgreen]

Before anyone has a go at Joe-90 remember it can take a lot of courage to commit oneself to a self imposed death.

Maybe courage born out of despair but still courage.

 

[Bahco]

If someone can only look forward to a life of sadness, despair, and hopelessness then maybe for that person it is the right decision.

There is plenty of help out there if the person asks for it. Sadly depressed people always keep things to themselves and the extent of their depression is not known until its too late.

Life is precious!

 

[masona]

Whilst suicide is a tragedy for all involved there are times when I believe that it is the right decision for the individual.
If someone can only look forward to a life of sadness, despair, and hopelessness then maybe for that person it is the right decision.

I tend to agree, it was his third suicide attempt over the 9 nine years period, I'm no longer suffering of, not if, it's when it will happen again. A real shame, he was a brilliant copywriter which he wrote radio scripts for the Goon and the BBC home service.

 

[securespark]

Anobium you did nothing wrong, so don't feel guilty

On the contrary, Ano, you have exposed a wonderful caring side of your nature which is a great asset.

 

[Thermo]

we all posess our own destiny, not that of others. Nothing you could have done.