Reminds me of the story of they guy who when he was working out in the gulf used to put a hole in a mellon and use it for jimmy flloyd.
When he got back to jockland the mellons where considerably colder so he stuck it in a microwave to warm it up,well we all know they heat from inside out and he ended up in hospital in agony with severe burns to his todger
A mate bought one and it had a slow puncture ,when he phoned the shop to complain that it was going down on him the assistant said that will be £20 extra then.
Its wrong to call him a pervert, he's done no-one any harm but himself and perhaps he can't get himself a woman? more pidgeon holing & stereotyping going on methinks