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Thanks for the bump, Pete.
I've always wanted to be an author, but I'm going to start small. Nothing like the inspirational and very successful HP series by J K Rowling for me, not yet.
This modernised fairy tale is in recognition of all the TERFs.
I've been inspired, by JohnD and Ivor Windybottom to modernise the old fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood and the big bad scary Wolf. You all know the story, so I'll skip to the bit where Little Red Riding Hood (LRRH) has settled herself in the chair by Granny's bed. Of course, in the bed is not Granny, but a wolf, and in my version a wolf pretending to be transgender, (TGW).
LRRH: My what big eyes you have, Granny.
TGW: All the better to see you with, my dear.
LRRH: My what big teeth you have, Granny
TGW: All the better to eat you with,, my dear.
LRRH: My what big hands you have, Granny.
TGW: All the better to spank you with, my dear. Because I'm not really your granny, nor a wolf, nor a transgender wolf. I'm really a male sex criminal pretending to be transgender wolf, disguised as your Granny to gain access to your Granny's bedroom.
And with that LRRH jumped up off her seat and ran out of the door into the forest.
Granny, the wolf, the transgender wolf, the male sex criminal leapt out of bed to chase her.
Unfortunately Granny's bloomers was much too big for the slender male sex criminal, disguised as a transgender wolf, disguised as Granny, and her bloomers kept falling down round the male sex criminal's ankles and tripping him up.
Granny's nightgown was also much to loose for the male sex criminal, so not only was it acting like a parachute slowing him down, it was also wrapping itself around his legs and causing him to stumble.
Granny's night cap was far too loose for his head, so it kept slipping down over his eyes, and he kept bumping into trees.
Granny's bed slippers were much too flimsy for the forest floor, so the male sex criminal was as good as running blindly in bare feet.
So LRRH was able to get clean away, and the male sex criminal was left stumbling around in the forest, falling over and bumping into trees.
A quick call to the police on LRRH's brother's mobile made out of bits of wire, sellotape and pieces of cardboard and the male sex criminal was easily caught.
There is a moral to this story: don't try to rewrite fairy stories and perpetuate myths with your own bigoted ignorance of medical science and biology. Otherwise you'll be mistaken for TERFs.
I suspect those who inspired me to write my version of that old fairy story, might want some financial reward for their contribution to the story.
I very much doubt that I will accede to their request,
They're welcome to apply to my accountant at the Dry Cleaners, in Station Road, North Chingford, London.
It's unlikely that they'll get any response because my accountant manages my affairs via a couple of young digital nomads living the high life in places like Bali, etc.
I've always wanted to be an author, but I'm going to start small. Nothing like the inspirational and very successful HP series by J K Rowling for me, not yet.
This modernised fairy tale is in recognition of all the TERFs.
I've been inspired, by JohnD and Ivor Windybottom to modernise the old fairy tale of Little Red Riding Hood and the big bad scary Wolf. You all know the story, so I'll skip to the bit where Little Red Riding Hood (LRRH) has settled herself in the chair by Granny's bed. Of course, in the bed is not Granny, but a wolf, and in my version a wolf pretending to be transgender, (TGW).
LRRH: My what big eyes you have, Granny.
TGW: All the better to see you with, my dear.
LRRH: My what big teeth you have, Granny
TGW: All the better to eat you with,, my dear.
LRRH: My what big hands you have, Granny.
TGW: All the better to spank you with, my dear. Because I'm not really your granny, nor a wolf, nor a transgender wolf. I'm really a male sex criminal pretending to be transgender wolf, disguised as your Granny to gain access to your Granny's bedroom.
And with that LRRH jumped up off her seat and ran out of the door into the forest.
Unfortunately Granny's bloomers was much too big for the slender male sex criminal, disguised as a transgender wolf, disguised as Granny, and her bloomers kept falling down round the male sex criminal's ankles and tripping him up.
Granny's nightgown was also much to loose for the male sex criminal, so not only was it acting like a parachute slowing him down, it was also wrapping itself around his legs and causing him to stumble.
Granny's night cap was far too loose for his head, so it kept slipping down over his eyes, and he kept bumping into trees.
Granny's bed slippers were much too flimsy for the forest floor, so the male sex criminal was as good as running blindly in bare feet.
So LRRH was able to get clean away, and the male sex criminal was left stumbling around in the forest, falling over and bumping into trees.
A quick call to the police on LRRH's brother's mobile made out of bits of wire, sellotape and pieces of cardboard and the male sex criminal was easily caught.
There is a moral to this story: don't try to rewrite fairy stories and perpetuate myths with your own bigoted ignorance of medical science and biology. Otherwise you'll be mistaken for TERFs.
I suspect those who inspired me to write my version of that old fairy story, might want some financial reward for their contribution to the story.
I very much doubt that I will accede to their request,
They're welcome to apply to my accountant at the Dry Cleaners, in Station Road, North Chingford, London.
It's unlikely that they'll get any response because my accountant manages my affairs via a couple of young digital nomads living the high life in places like Bali, etc.
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