Grieving

[Gasman28]

Coljack,
Up until my brothers cremation, I felt like a pillar of strength too.
Then they closed the curtains, played the music and then I knew it was for real. We had speeches too, which really hit home hard, but not sure about the disposable hankies though. Good point though.
Hope that you and your family are OK.
Dex, you are not the only one to suffer.

 

[dextrous]

Was thinking about you today - hope that apart from the obvious, it wasn't too traumatic.

 

[ColJack]

the funeral itself wasn't so bad, but seeing my Dad in tears nearly broke my heart.. he never cries, didn't even cry at Grandads funeral, but I suppose it's different when it's "Mother"..

Father is that bloke you see for a few hours each night and on weekends, Mother is the person who feeds you, bathes you, plays with you 7 days a week during those early years before school, and she was always there when you got home from school once you started going..

My point is that "Mother" will always have a special place in anyones heart..

the traumatic part was the grueling 4 hours talking to long lost, and never seen before relatives that come out of the woodwork, and trying to keep straight who's not talking to who because of what...

 

[dextrous]

Dex, you are not the only one to suffer.

I am all too aware of that. As I go about my business, I get heart from seeing so many people who must (in all reality) have gone through the death of a loved one and been able to move on with their "normal lives" - changed and strengthened by the experience.

If I may be indulged for the moment, my grandmother died when my mother was 3 (from an illness (TB or consumption, can't remember which) contracted when working in the munitions factory during WW1) and my grandfather was sent packing by my great grandmother. Thus, my mother was brought up as an only child by her grandmother and her uncle's family. Both of these died when my mother was still young (late teens and early 20's), and it was left to her to rear her younger cousin and provide for the family (her two unworking and unwell aunts). This she managed to do by piano recitals (she had been a bit of a child prodigy by all accounts), piano lessons and working in the civil service (she eventually became the private secretary to a permanent undersecretary in the then ministry of food). Coupled with this was her complete religious faith and music commitments to her church.

The point of this rambling, apart from my clear pride in having her as a mother, is to highlight that these early in life tragedies, hardships and work commitments, made her a very calm and wordly wise person, who never complained, always defended others, and completely selfless. Her ability to cope in the face of adversity is something which I envy.

 

[dextrous]

My point is that "Mother" will always have a special place in anyones heart.

A Geordie friend of mine summed it all up quite beautifully - "Your dad may come, your dad may go, but yer mam's yer mam"

 

[ColJack]

FYI, TB is consumption..
and it may have been TNT poisoning.. quite common aparently, turned the women yellow

when's your's due?

 

[dextrous]

FYI, TB is consumption..
and it may have been TNT poisoning.. quite common aparently, turned the women yellow

oh

when's your's due?

My brother is on holiday in egypt (unavoidably so), so we have to defer it until Weds 1 July. Just enough time to let the dust settle before we rake it up again.

 

[charliechaplinspants]

You don`t know me, forum or otherwise but I hope you will accept my heartfelt sympathies from one who has lost his own Mother, God Bless, be strong Fellah, you`ll be with her again someday. Make her proud.