If you've got elderly relatives ....act now

[gasbanni]

Speaking from personal experiance .....get power of attorney over their health and finances to look after their interests.

If you don't you could end up in a nightmare and so could they.

You can download the forms, if you don't have this in place social services can take over the affairs of you relative.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/he...a-94-year-old-without-savings-or-dignity.html

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-10763890

http://www.factuk.org.uk

If you love your relative and want to look after them you should act even if they have no assests otherwise you have no say in their care ........ A charity I spoke to after problems in care for an aged relative said when I told them we had power if attorney over their health " You're in the driving seat" if we hadn't had it we could be dictated to regarsing our relative.


Don't put it off.

 

[big-all]

its often difficult for the elderly to relinquish control
also worth mentioning get them to involve you and letting you know about all there interests like services banking and savings and other commitments
when my dad died he saved all his paperwork from closed bank accounts where he transferred from one isa to the next every year or so this caused many a letter to ask iff they had any funds in his name which as an executor tripled or more the workload sorting out where his assets where before discharging all charges and due bills on his estate before distribution

 

[sodthisforfun]

Don't have that responsibility.. my dad met a new bird just a few months after mum died and got engaged. She's now in charge of everything, including his money, well, as soon as they get married anyway. I'm sure she'll have fun keeping all the dosh if he goes first, I just hope she looks after him well until the end.

 

[big-all]

Don't have that responsibility.. my dad met a new bird just a few months after mum died and got engaged. She's now in charge of everything, including his money, well, as soon as they get married anyway. I'm sure she'll have fun keeping all the dosh if he goes first, I just hope she looks after him well until the end.

if you think she is keeping him happy and he is off sound mind then his choice
if you genuinely think theres manipulation through not being fully in charge off his faculties then keep information off all transactions in case off a legal dispute
but in general a say 60-70 year old fantasizing over a say 30 year old with big boobs satisfying his "needs "is his choice not manipulation even though he is older it can only be changed iff his ability is deemed to be impared

 

[sodthisforfun]

Am not sure how much of a sound mind a person can be in right after losing your wife of 50+ years but there you go. I know myself I couldn't move on so quick, nor make those types of life changing choices of getting married again within 3-4 months of losing my partner but everyone copes in different ways.
I appreciate it's his choice and he's not the sort who likes to be on his own, but I don't have to like it either as it's too soon for me! As I said, I just hope she looks after him well.

Gone a bit Jeremy Kyle, sorry!

 

[big-all]

making an "emotional" choice doesn't count
its only when a person is deemed not to be off sound mind where they cant make a rational choice
even then in general its subjective where a judge can decide his heart chose that route regardless off how much you think its manipulation or abuse

 

[EFLImpudence]

Why on earth does your Dad want to get married again?


I really do not understand the likes of film and rock stars getting married several times; what is the point of the ceremony?

I know this doesn't apply to your Dad but from his point of view, what benefit is there?

 

[motorbiking]

There are no benefits to him getting married. Does he have a Will?

 

[Bodd]

Am not sure how much of a sound mind a person can be in right after losing your wife of 50+ years but there you go. I know myself I couldn't move on so quick, nor make those types of life changing choices of getting married again within 3-4 months of losing my partner but everyone copes in different ways.
I appreciate it's his choice and he's not the sort who likes to be on his own, but I don't have to like it either as it's too soon for me! As I said, I just hope she looks after him well.

Gone a bit Jeremy Kyle, sorry!

It is a bit soon. It must be hard for you.
But we all have to look after number 1 like you said he don't like being alone..

I hope it's all for the right reasons.

 

[securespark]

its often difficult for the elderly to relinquish control

He says, while screwing down the coffin lid...

 

[securespark]

Joking aside, therein lies my point.

The relative may feel perfectly in control and not want to relinquish anything. And for good reason. There have been cases where family members cannot wait to get POA so they can "have their share".

 

[sodthisforfun]

making an "emotional" choice doesn't count
its only when a person is deemed not to be off sound mind where they cant make a rational choice
even then in general its subjective where a judge can decide his heart chose that route regardless off how much you think its manipulation or abuse

I don't think it's manipulation and it's not about money for me. As childish as it seems to be, it was too soon for me to witness and get my head around it all.

Why on earth does your Dad want to get married again?


I really do not understand the likes of film and rock stars getting married several times; what is the point of the ceremony?

I know this doesn't apply to your Dad but from his point of view, what benefit is there?

None whatsoever, especially so late in life. But then am not sure about getting married once! I'm very happy living in sin myself.

There are no benefits to him getting married. Does he have a Will?

Yes he does, as far as I know. But will's are pointless once married - everything goes to the spouse, doesn't matter what is written in a will. I am pretty sure I heard that on the radio anyway!

 

[HERTS P&D]

There are no benefits to him getting married. Does he have a Will?

His will will be null and void once he gets married. He would have to make a new will after he gets married.

Andy

 

[gasbanni]

its often difficult for the elderly to relinquish control
also worth mentioning get them to involve you and letting you know about all there interests like services banking and savings and other commitments
when my dad died he saved all his paperwork from closed bank accounts where he transferred from one isa to the next every year or so this caused many a letter to ask iff they had any funds in his name which as an executor tripled or more the workload sorting out where his assets where before discharging all charges and due bills on his estate before distribution

You're quite right, but the control only becomes active if they are rendered incapable by say a stroke. If you explain that it only becomes active if they are no longer
capable of making decisions they usually agree with it being in place.

My elderly neighbour has done it with his son when I went round and explained it to him.
It's so necessary, if I can find tghe original link that originally put me on to this I'll post it.

 

[JohnD]

But will's are pointless once married - everything goes to the spouse, doesn't matter what is written in a will.

wrong.