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****ty life

If I can suggest something that really helps with your mental health (albeit a tad late in the year).
Going fishing is great for a stress detox, helping you get your ducks in a row and attain some inner peace.

These days girls fish too so you could even take your daughter with you :)
 
Was thinking about this while walking my dog this evening, specifically why I enjoy the camera club so much. Yes, we have a bit of social, just a quick half after meeting usually, but the club itself provides not only something to look forward to each week, but it is also about learning a skill and an art. My photography has improved and club members praise my work at times, just a "well done" and a pat on the shoulder, but it really means something. Striving to get better at something really is good for your mental health and wellbeing. I used to do martial arts, but just got too old to do the ones I enjoy, and could never get into the more gentle forms. Martial arts never had a strong social aspect outside of the club, but at the clubs it was always relaxed and a place to chat. Photography has replaced that.
 
JP_ said:
Was thinking about this while walking my dog this evening, specifically why I enjoy the camera club so much. Yes, we have a bit of social, just a quick half after meeting usually, but the club itself provides not only something to look forward to each week, but it is also about learning a skill and an art. My photography has improved and club members praise my work at times, just a "well done" and a pat on the shoulder, but it really means something. Striving to get better at something really is good for your mental health and wellbeing. I used to do martial arts, but just got too old to do the ones I enjoy, and could never get into the more gentle forms. Martial arts never had a strong social aspect outside of the club, but at the clubs it was always relaxed and a place to chat. Photography has replaced that.
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can be a very expensive hobby. Mate of mine has spent thousands on gear, one lens cost him 5k alone. He loves it though. He was suicidal at one point and photography definately helped him. Now his wife is suicidal at what he spends on camera gear!!!
 
Highway Man said:
can be a very expensive hobby. Mate of mine has spent thousands on gear, one lens cost him 5k alone. He loves it though. He was suicidal at one point and photography definately helped him. Now his wife is suicidal at what he spends on camera gear!!!
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Yeah, I am lucky, I can't afford the expensive stuff! I have treated myself to a new camera in the last month though, my first new camera since 2005. I borrowed one for a year. I've bought second hand lenses too, which are perfectly good.

Thing is, you don't need expensive gear for good photography, and you can get good free editing tools (I use DarkTable, open source, like Lightroom was about 10 years ago). But if you want to do wildlife well, which is something I love, then those 5k lenses do come in handy.

I spend a lot of lunch breaks stood by myself in a small woodland. It's nice!
 
Koolpc said:
Thing is, i want to stay near my 19yr old daughter. She is my life guys
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I agree. You should be not too far away from her.

As for clubs, most have a social side, whether it be just going down the pub or meeting at a restaurant every week or something more involved like trips or walks.
 
Koolpc said:
All student acc when i live....

Want to buy, no mortgage needed but again, nothing in price range..
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Student housing tends to have a ceiling in terms of £K per bedroom as there is a limit to what it can ROI, so where you say you wouldn't need a mortgage to buy but there is nothing for sale in the price range, if you did get a mortgage to move out of the price range that makes a property worth it for student landlords, does it open up more choice?

The other thing I find with my uni town is that there are some lovely villages just a couple of miles out, not well served by public transport, but only a few mins by car, that the students don't occupy. Do you drive? Is that still near enough your daughter but an option for the life you want?

Family connections are important, but you do also have to look after yourself. Don't forget too, that sometimes living close can mean you take an "ah, they're only next door, I can easily catch them another time" approach; I've had extended periods of time where I've actually seen further away family more often than the one that lives literally next door. Not saying move to the other side of the country, but if mobility/driving isn't a problem for either of you, you may not necessarily have to live eg walking distance from daughter, if the nicer village is 15 mins out
 
JP_ said:
Was thinking about this while walking my dog this evening, specifically why I enjoy the camera club so much. Yes, we have a bit of social, just a quick half after meeting usually, but the club itself provides not only something to look forward to each week, but it is also about learning a skill and an art. My photography has improved and club members praise my work at times, just a "well done" and a pat on the shoulder, but it really means something. Striving to get better at something really is good for your mental health and wellbeing.
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Ditto to the above with an allotment. I'd never thought of it like that before but thinking about it, I spend more than half of my time over there just bumping gums with other allotment holders. That’s got to be good for your mental health. The fresh air and occasional solitude does you good too.
 
I went through a very rough patch once and all started with back pain.
When the pain is constant, day and night, depression kicks in.
You might be in the same vicious cycle I was: pain-feeling down-more pain-depression-more pain-etc.
You need to try fix your back.
Start being a pain in the backside with your doctor's, call everyday, show up at the surgery, send emails, etc.
Make sure they refer you to a neurosurgeon or spinal orthopaedic.
Once there, don't take their first answer as gospel, ask for a second opinion, make formal complaints if needed.
At NHS they're in the habit of saving money and if you need surgery they'll delay it as much as possible by giving you pills.
If you can, go to a private consultant, it's £350 for first consultation, better if you already have MRI.
If private consultant says you need surgery, then NHS consultant will agree.
You can jump from private to NHS without being penalised, it's in the NHS constitution or rules.
Let me know your area and I see if I know any good consultant around you; in my time I travelled all around the UK and abroad to find a solution.
I don't suffer back pain anymore, surgery saved my life that I thought was over.
You might not need surgery but some other treatment that unfortunately the NHS keeps almost secret.
Good luck.
 
Koolpc said:
Back been bad for 30 plus years. Tried many things. Still bad. It sucks. Plus, i get burning when sitting....

Tried swimming but they hate dogs in the pool!!!!!
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Seriously, I slipped a couple of discs many, many years ago.
I was under various treatments, and it looked like surgery was going to be the ultimate resolution.
I was swimming, maybe 3 or 4 times a week. I kept up the swimming until old age.
My swimming, fitness and stamina improved, I packed up smoking, and my back healed itself.
I occasionally go back to swimming now just for the sheer exhilaration, and fitness training. Plus it's easier on the knees than walking.
I'd recommend it, absolutely.
 
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