Who here lives alone ...

[diy_fun_uk]

... and in the main do you like it? What advantages and disadvantages does it result in for you? On balance, would your preference be to live with someone?

I'm nearing 50 and tbh, once I left home, I've pretty much always lived on my own. I suppose my one big regret is not settling down with someone and having kids. It's not something I craved in my 20s, 30s or even early 40s and I wouldn't consider kids now. In terms of having a partner, I think at my core I've always been okay with my own company and can't really picture myself living with someone 24/7. Never say never and all that but tbh I have my doubts it'll ever happen. And I think you have to be careful not to look at things through rose-tinted glasses. Family life and solo living both have their pluses and minuses without a doubt.

On balance I think I'm okay with being on my own. On the plus side, I can do what I want when I want. Some of this is flippant I admit, however I can leave my house as messy or tidy as I please without someone 'encouraging' me to tidy up after myself. I can channel hop to my hearts content. I can get up out my pit at any time I please. I don't have another family and circle of friends to interact with, some of whom I could probably see far enough.

I suppose in some ways, I'm selfish. And I'm not embarrassed to say that.

There are obvious disadvantages, not having someone to share certain stuff with and all the other stuff that comes with being a family man. However, I still think on balance I'm okay with that.

 

[HERTS P&D]

No wife or kids??? You must be loaded!

Andy

 

[foxhole]

Been with my mrs 44 years , find a good one you have to hang onto them, think her first husband regrets divorcing her .
3 daughters and 4 grandchildren .

 

[Orchid2021]

Hi
I don’t think there’s anything wrong in being on your own. Like you point out there are a lot of perks.

Some of us who married still ended up alone through separation, divorce or death. There are no guarantees that by the time we reach our fifties we will still be in a relationship. Grown up children too will move out.

You may one day meet someone you get along with and want to share your life with. If it happens good; if it doesn’t happen life is still good.

 

[diy_fun_uk]

No wife or kids??? You must be loaded!

Andy

lol, I wish. Comfortable maybe, loaded? Nope

 

[fillyboy]

I have a number of friends who I go for 'boys' days out with, they're all single and live alone, they all seem happy enough. One or two are quite house proud, others less so, one's had a rusty motorbike parked in his hallway since 1988.

 

[crystal ball]

Back in the 70s a mate more or less lived alone in his dads house, he had a Lambretta dismantled and re painted in an upstairs bedroom

 

[EFLImpudence]

Some people have beds in the garage.

 

[fillyboy]

I had a boat engine in the kitchen for about 6 months till the wife stubbed her toe on it.

DSCN0301

• fillyboy
• 17 Oct 2021

 

[Notch7]

its better to be single than to be with somebody you clash with.

 

[Harry Bloomfield]

Some people have beds in the garage.

Mostly illegal immigrants..

 

[conny]

I married young, (18), and we stayed together for 38 years. First 10 years wer pretty good I suppose but then it started going down hill and for the last 15 we lived separate lives in the same house, (but neither got involved with anyone else), until I decided enough was enough and filed for divorce. Before the papers were served we agreed to split everything 50/50 and each give the 2 kids a few quid each. That went out the window when she realised I was serious. Whole process became very acrimonious and was part of the reason for falling out with my daughter.
I moved across country and met a 'friend' through a friend who had been through a similar experience. We agreed neither of us were looking for anything other than friendship and for 4 years that is what we had. Then one day I asked her to marry me and she did. We've been very happily married for over 4 years.

 

[JP_]

I don't, but i know that i could easily have ended up alone. I didn't have any successful relationships before i met my wife.

I am happy in my own company, i worked but myself at home for 6 years, and wfh again now.

 

[transam]

I do now and have done for a good few years now

got a 71 Norton in the spare room

I have no stats to back it up

but imo blokes living on there own do not fare as well as married men or those in long term stable relationships

health and all that type of thing ???

 

[Harry Bloomfield]

I lived alone until my early 30's, fun, total freedom, but I felt I was missing something, so I decided I ought to settle down with someone and ended up with a divorcee, whom I lived with until she passed away 6 years ago - after years of ill health, me just nicely retired, so back to rattling around on my own for a while, but very lonely after all of those years with someone to come home to. I was also quite tied to home, by looking after our two dogs. I soon went on the dating sites looking for a new partner, found one willing, but that didn't work out for various reasons, not least of which she was home sick and thought she ought to be kept at my expense eventually, so we parted, leaving me on my own a third time. We surprisingly, never had a row over anything, but it was obvious something was not right.

I was one time lucky she was here, because during the early hours I had a massive sarcophagus bleed and had to be rushed into hospital on a 999, suffering serious internal blood loss. I was was kept in for three days - how do you find someone to dog sit two large dogs and at no notice for three days? When she arrived here, the house decoration needed serious effort - my first partner being so ill, I had been unable to do anything that wasn't essential, so I put up the money, gave her a free hand and we redecorated top to bottom, over several months.

Back on the dating site and a new partner appeared on the scene. She is rather controlling, denies it, but at least for the most part she pays her way, which helps with the bills of running the place. We have near constant disagreements, with nothing to disagree on, she will find something and has several times threatened to leave and go back home. My response after the first few times, has always been that if she is not happy here, then she should go - though we both know we can both live a better, more comfortable life together and it ends with her apologising. I think she does appreciate I hold all the cards and can manage just fine without her, or with a No 4 - she has what she arrived with - nowt. She is nine years my junior, very active, fitter than me and she likes to rub it in often. Me, I'm not quite so fit, but certainly fitter than many my age and many are dead already

I was fine in my younger days, constantly on the go, often as not out of town working away having the time of my life, but as you get older, it is nice to have someone on hand for emergencies, without pulling favours from friends.

I never had any kids, never felt the need. My first partner ended up adopting her grandson and often looking after her granddaughter too, for reason I will not go into on here, both from nappies. I ended up raising the boy, whom he now considers me as his father, or grandfather figure. I'm not jealous of him in the slightest - he pays maintenance for two of his kids looked after by grand parents local to me and lives with a second partner up north, whom he hates and pays for a third.

I do think the 2+2.whatever can be better off financially, two sharing the bills rather than one on their own, so rich and single is a bit of a myth, unless you can find some way to share the living costs. Council tax alone is 75% for a single, only 25% extra for two or more, likewise the energy bills, vehicle plus house maintenance and to some extent food bills.

What I never realised when I was single, was just how much 'baggage' everyone carries along with them through their lives.