advice please folks, serious matter.

[Anonymouse]

Hi guys, I am in need of some advice.

I have been seeing this girl for a couple of months, the relationship has been highly sexual, but I have been taking her on dates too, and we have both met each others parents (we both live with our respective parents).

She is 18. She is on the pill (99% effective against pregnancy). When she was 13, she was in a car crash. This damaged her pelvis permenantly. She has a 12% chance of ever getting pregnant. If she were to get pregnant, she would have to have a c-section (i cant spell it) because she would die in a normal childbirth.

We were both checked for STDs, so we were having unprotected sex - we thought we were safe.

Guess what? She's pregnant. This is a miracle pregnancy. Theres no other way to describe it.

I am a young professional in my early 20's earning £16k gross and living with my parents. Theres no way I can get a place of my (or our) own, and support a child for 18 years on this money (though I am expecting a big promotion within a year). And I do NOT want to live on handouts by the state. Its something I do not believe in.

The thing is, I dont want to encourage her to get rid of the baby, because it might never happen to her again, given the chances she was given by doctors.

Also, we are fairly early in our relationship, and I dont know if it will last. I know she's really into me, but I dont know if i feel the same. It was so much fun, but now its gotten very very serious, I dont know how I feel. I keep trying to make light of the situation, but its wearing thin with her, and its looming over us that we have to make a decision.

What do I (and we) do? We're going to the Doctors tomorrow to discuss things further. Any advice from the knowledgable people on the forum would be appreciated.

Cheers
Anonymouse.

 

[joe-90]

It's your life mate, make your own mind up.

BTW who decided there was a 12% chance of pregnancy?

Load of cobblers. Another internet fruit cake.

 

[JohnD]

Aside from the pegnancy, would you have wanted to marry her?

The bitter old cynic in me remarks that sometimes when girls say they're baby-proof, they aren't No doubt some men also say things that aren't right.

Sorry, no sensible advice from me at this point.

 

[ricicle]

This is not a decision that anyone else can influence you with.Whichever way you decide it will be with you forever - good luck.

 

[noseall]

only the two..... or maybe even one you can decide.

the child may end up being the best thing that ever happened, or.........

 

[Richardp]

I dont know if it will last. I know she's really into me, but I dont know if i feel the same. It was so much fun, but now its gotten very very serious, I dont know how I feel. .

well you've come to us a bit late, you should have asked us about the birds and the bee's early on and we could have told you to wear a condom,it sounds like you don't love her ? so you should be talking to her right now about this.
its a shame.

 

[Alison556]

Sorry to be a cynic, but was there not a similar post from a similarly named poster not that long ago? Why would anyone join a DIY forum to post that question (although I do realise that it could be a long standing member who has registered anonymously to ask the question).

But the important one is - how does the girl feel about the pregnancy? Is she happy about it?

Personally, I can't stand kids and wouldn't have one for quids so I can't even give a woman's perspective (apparently this not wanting to breed makes me abnormal).

The only person who can make the decision is the girl - she's the one who has to carry it and go through major surgery to have it.

You just have to make it clear that you're not sure how you feel about it so that she can make an informed decision as to whether she's gonna be on her own with it in the near or distant future.

 

[tim west]

Sorry if it sounds harsh but you've had you're fun and now it's time to take responsibility for bringing a little life into the world, a life that has a right to live and not to have that decision made by others.

As responsible adults you must think of the baby not yourselves, even if the pregnancy is unexpected the damage has already been done.

The decision to terminate should be made on medical grounds of safety towards the mother only.

 

[joe-90]

What's the matter with you people? It's a post from someone craving attention. It's not real. No hospital could give a 12% chance of pregnancy - how would they come to that conclusion? It's a post from a complete nutter who was never loved as a child. Now it seems the loony has moved on to the next forum hoping for some sympathy.

 

[Rob]

The decision to terminate should be made on medical grounds of safety towards the mother only.

Why? Because you dont agree with it?

My GF who im still with had a termination 4 years ago. We were 18. Never regretted it for a minute. We will have it one day just not yet.

OP how did you get on at doctors. Made a decision yet?

 

[tim west]

Why? Because you dont agree with it?

My GF who im still with had a termination 4 years ago. We were 18. Never regretted it for a minute. We will have it one day just not yet.

Yep dont agree with it, is that ok that i have a different viewpoint to you and dont believe in killing another human just for convienience sake. Some people have a very lax attitude to another persons life if one is not ready to bring a baby into this world at the time then they should take precautions and not use an abortion clinic as a way to rectify mistakes or to stop a birth from changing ones lifestyle, as said before you have to take responsibility for your actions.

 

[Bahco]

Tim is spot on!

 

[Persimmon]

Hang on chaps - we are being wound up. I would lay a bet that this is the person calling him/herself 'anonimouse' in December and writing about suspect txt messages on his wife's mobile. Funny we never heard any more, don't you think ? Don't rise to the bait.

Perry

 

[^woody^]

I once asked how to put some shelves up on the Sex and Relationship Talk forum, but no-one seemed to know the answer there either

Are you allowed to do, or even speak of these things in the UAE

 

[Trazor]

You get your girlfriend pregnant against all the odds, whats the first thing you do.......of course......

You join a DIY forum, state your location as United Arab Emirates, and post about it........

//www.diynot.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=770031#770031

Sound familiar