Thought I'd share this with you!!!
Here is an email I sent to Bulldog Broadband last month:
(incidentally, pay careful attention to my name and the name of the friend I refer to in the last paragraph...)
Reasonable enough, I thought.
A few days later, this arrived in response:
Now, unfortunately for poor old Jaqui here I had just got back from the pub when I read it, and my reply was in pure ninebob sarcasm. Shaun tried several times to stop me sending it, but off it went.... (brace yourselves):
And to be honest, after that I forgot all about it until today when, 3 weeks later, they got back to me:
A disappointingly humourless response, but definitely a victory for ninebob! I win - and I must admit that with the time-lapse inbetween, it gave me another good giggle today reading back my email!
Here is an email I sent to Bulldog Broadband last month:
(incidentally, pay careful attention to my name and the name of the friend I refer to in the last paragraph...)
F.A.O. Finance/Billing Department
I signed up for Bulldog Inter@ctive before Christmas and had it installed on January 16th. The offer at the time was £21.50 for the broadband and £10.50 for the line rental, a total of £32 which was advertised as the package price for life.
I understand that there was an additional benefit of free UK calls for a while, however I had no interest in continuing this after the offer period as I make very few calls and certainly not £12 worth to landlines per month.
The first two bills were absolutely fine, however, last month I found that I had been overcharged by £12. I telephoned and explained that I had never requested the UK calls option and did not want it - I was told that the £12 would be credited to the next bill and the option removed, making my package price £32 as it should be. I therefore allowed the debit card payment to proceed (including the overcharge, which I expected to receive as a credit as promised).
The next bill has now arrived, and not only does it show no credit for last month's mistake, but a further £12 charge appears in respect of the unrequested, unwanted UK calls package.
I would appreciate your response to this email at your earliest opportunity, as I unfortunately now have no confidence in the ability of your telephone staff to resolve the problem. If I have not heard from you by Monday (29th) I shall have to instruct the bank not to authorise the card payment, as to allow this to proceed would mean that I was £24 out of pocket with no sign of a resolution. I am, however, quite happy to send you a cheque for my correct outstanding balance which should be £24.62.
As a secondary issue, I referred a new customer to you in the earlier part of this year (Mr M Fuller, ref bdol5446115) and was told that I would receive a £50 credit for this. I appreciate that there will probably be a qualifying period for this credit but would appreciate if you could let me know when I can expect to receive it.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
Simon Wright (Account bdol3990737)
Reasonable enough, I thought.
A few days later, this arrived in response:
Dear Mr Fuller,
Thank you for emailing Bulldog.
After investigation, I can confirm that the UK Unlimited Call option was removed from your account on 3 May 2006 and therefore will not reflect on your monthly bill from the invoice dated 1 June 2006 onwards.
Unfortunately I am not able to apply credit to your account as the only way that the UK Unlimited Call Option would be removed is by request from you, it is not automatically removed once the promotional period is over.
As we did not receive a request to remove the call option, we assumed that you were happy to keep that option on your account.
If you would like to discuss this matter further, please call our Customer Services Team on our free phone number 0800 404 8151 and select option 1.1.
Please be advised that Cheque Payment is not one of the Methods of Payment accepted by Bulldog. The methods of payment accepted are Direct Debit and Credit Card (Mastercard and Visa) payments.
In terms of the Refer A Friend credit, this will only be applied to your account once Mr Fuller's account has been activated for over 3 months.
Please use the order reference in all communication.
Order Reference: bdol3990737
Kind Regards
Jacqui Stephenson
Bulldog Communications Billing Team
Now, unfortunately for poor old Jaqui here I had just got back from the pub when I read it, and my reply was in pure ninebob sarcasm. Shaun tried several times to stop me sending it, but off it went.... (brace yourselves):
Hello Jacqui,
Thank you for your reply to my email, addressed curiously enough to “Mr Fuller”. Although a Mr Fuller was featured in my email, he's not me and the email was not from him. Your ability even to get something this simple confused should really have prepared me for the rest of your content. I'd better take each line in turn:
“After investigation, I can confirm that the UK Unlimited Call option was removed from your account on 3 May 2006 and therefore will not reflect on your monthly bill from the invoice dated 1 June 2006 onwards.”
A promising start, Jacqui, but sadly it wasn't to last...
“Unfortunately I am not able to apply credit to your account...”
That's funny, because the nice man in Delhi I spoke to not only said that he was able to, but that he would do so. Which one of you is lying to me?
“As we did not receive a request to remove the call option, we assumed that you were happy to keep that option on your account.”
Aha! There's the problem – you assumed. I don't mind what you assume about me, to be honest, you can assume I'm a three-legged donkey who spends my spare time knitting for all I care, but please don't expect me to be happy about it when your incorrect assumptions cost me money.
“If you would like to discuss this matter further, please call our Customer Services Team on our free phone number 0800 404 8151 and select option 1.1.”
Is option 1.1 the one that puts me directly through to India/Outer Mongolia/Other far-flung call centre location of your choice? If it's all the same to you, Jacqui, I'll continue discussing this by email as you do at least appear to have a reasonable grasp of the english language.
“Please be advised that Cheque Payment is not one of the Methods of Payment accepted by Bulldog. The methods of payment accepted are Direct Debit and Credit Card (Mastercard and Visa) payments.”
Please be advised that incorrect bills are not accepted or paid by Simon Wright. The only bills paid by Simon Wright are those that accurately reflect the services I have ordered. Until this matter has been resolved, my bank has been instructed not to authorise any card payments to yourself. I'm still happy to send you a cheque for the correct amount, but if you insist on a card payment you'd better send me a sensible bill first. It's really up to you!
“In terms of the Refer A Friend credit, this will only be applied to your account once Mr Fuller's account has been activated for over 3 months.”
Fair enough. Just don't get me and him muddled up, eh?
Well I think that covers everything, and I look forward to your response.
Regards,
Simon Wright.
And to be honest, after that I forgot all about it until today when, 3 weeks later, they got back to me:
Dear Customer,
We have been investigating your recent credit request and are pleased to confirm that the credit has been processed. This will appear on your June bill.
We apologize for any inconvenience caused during this process.
Kind Regards,
Customer Operations Team
Email: [email protected]
A disappointingly humourless response, but definitely a victory for ninebob! I win - and I must admit that with the time-lapse inbetween, it gave me another good giggle today reading back my email!