Forced marriages

[Ossy]

Please don't dismiss this as spam. I'm a structural engineer who frequently reads this forum and I like to contribute when I can. This is a cause quite close to my heart which really is worth five minutes of your time.

A friend of mine runs a charity that supports victims of forced marriage, and are looking for people to support them by filling out a simple survey. I've just done it and it takes less than five minutes. They have been promised by an MP that if they can show enough support that they will push to make forced marriages illegal in the UK.

This is a massive step for a charity that runs a helpline for young women who are often being forced to go to a foreign country to marry a man they have never met, and who often will abuse them. If you have read one of Jasvinder Sanghera's books you will know that this is a serious problem. Kids being taken out of school and abused - and they are.

Please take some time to fill in the survey, and if you have any comments or feedback, please let me know and I will feed it back to them.

A bit about the charity: http://www.karmanirvana.org.uk/about-us/history

The survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/Home_Landing.aspx?sm=82En+c8TP+Zhau0LF5WhIEiVcb63Y6fT2EKARMEB6nY=

 

[Inky Pete]

Forced marriages are already illegal within the UK.

If people voluntarily travel abroad and end up getting hitched to their cousin that's their own look-out. They don't get dragged screaming through departures at Manchester or Heathrow, do they? No, they queue up at check-in, answer all the questions about packing their own bags and not being given anything by anyone else, they walk through security of their own accord, they sit quietly at the departure gate waiting for their flight - if they did otherwise airport security would most definitely get involved. One word to an airport copper from the "victim" along the lines of "help, I'm here under duress" and there's no way on earth they're getting on a plane!

Once they've voluntarily travelled overseas we've no more right to dictate the laws in other countries than they have to dictate ours.

 

[Ossy]

If you think they go voluntarily then you are mis-guided. Have you heard of honour killings? If you knew your brother or father would kill you if you did not follow the family's wishes, would you make a stand against them? Often suicide is an escape route that they take, as they see no other way.

This is a charity that provides support to victims and a way for them to escape from the cyclical abuse and rape that they are subjected to.

 

[Alarm]

Once they've voluntarily travelled overseas we've no more right to dictate the laws in other countries than they have to dictate ours.


Wot he said.

Are we not being constantly told we get too involved in others beliefs.

 

[Ossy]

For clarity, they are looking to criminalise the act of being involved in forcing somebody into a marriage.

http://www.iengage.org.uk/component...ges-government-to-criminalise-forced-marriage

or

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/17/mps-law-forced-marriage

I obviously didn't get the right words last night (this morning) - guess it shows the rule of no computer after the pub is probably a good one!

 

[Ossy]

Once they've voluntarily travelled overseas we've no more right to dictate the laws in other countries than they have to dictate ours.


Wot he said.

Are we not being constantly told we get too involved in others beliefs.

Please keep your head buried in the sand then. If we pretend that girls as young as 9 are not ringing helplines asking how to avaoid a forced marriage to a man they have never met, then we can sleep easy and say it's not our problem. Great! Not sure who the 'others' you refer to are - these are British children, what country are you from?

 

[Alarm]

British children, with british parents.
Living with and dealing with 3rd country rules and laws?

Where did I say its not right?
Deal with the adults, go proactive with them.

And this is the internet, where all are entitled to an opinion.
So pick up your toys.

 

[Ossy]

British children, with british parents.

Yes, your point?

Living with and dealing with 3rd country rules and laws?

Presumably you mean third world? No, they are cultural codes that are practised by people in all countries, and it is a problem here.

Where did I say its not right?

You didn't say it's not right, so does that mean you think it is right?!

Deal with the adults, go proactive with them.

This is the whole point, which you have massively missed, criminalsing the acts the adults are carrying out by forcing their children/relatives into marriage. If it's down to my lack of clarity I apologise for not explaining the issue clearly.

And this is the internet, where all are entitled to an opinion.
So pick up your toys.

Indeed we are. I've aired mine and totally disagree with yours. Isn't that what the internet is all about?

 

[Alarm]

You have to beat this mentality.

I have always been married. My mother harboured a specific plan for my marriage before I was even born. I was married generations before my birth, just as my wife, Saliha, was destined to be my companion before we ever met. We met but briefly and never alone before we were married. As it was, so it is and ever will be, because it works.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/sep/13/family1

Not mine.

Go to Luton, see what happens there.

 

[kevplumb]

it is illegal in england to even think or discuss it

end of

you want the people involved to speak out then let them

and while they are at it try abiding by the rest of the rules

 

[Alarm]

Err the law used is the Forced Marriage Protection Order.

Where does it state it is illegal to discuss the subject?
Unless you mean to discuss the point intending to do it.

 

[Inky Pete]

If you think they go voluntarily then you are mis-guided. Have you heard of honour killings? If you knew your brother or father would kill you if you did not follow the family's wishes, would you make a stand against them?

They could just leave their families? report the matter to their teachers, social services, child-line, or the police? (making threats to harm or kill already is very illegal). Don't see any difference between this and any other form of domestic abuse. In this country we have children's care homes, women' s refuges, court injunctions, protective custody, the whole civilised nine yards.

The "victim" always has the option of simply walking away.

 

[Whitespirit66]

If you think they go voluntarily then you are mis-guided. Have you heard of honour killings? If you knew your brother or father would kill you if you did not follow the family's wishes, would you make a stand against them? Often suicide is an escape route that they take, as they see no other way.

Why should we worry about what Asians get up to. This country has major problems of it's own, without taking on other people's.

Sort out our own problems without taking on other people's.

 

[Deleted member 105431]

Who cares about some inbred marriages abroad in the likes of pakistan, India and other ****holes ffs?


We should concentrate on our own problems like massive debt, crime and being swamped by asylum seekers, non english speaking illegal immigrants and other parasites who fleece the benefits system.

 

[joinerjohn]

Dangermouse, you miss the whole point of forced marriages though. When they take their kid/s over there for an arranged marriage, the kid usually comes back to the UK and their husband/wife is usually allowed in. Effectively sidestepping immigration laws (not that immigration laws seem to stop anyone) I'ts not just girls forced into these marriages, Lads too are taken abroad and married off to some stranger.
I personally reckon, if these people want to arrange marriages, then at least it should be between people already living here in the UK. Surely there's enough of them?