Misunderstandings

[noodlz]

Was walking along the street today when some guy shouted from his car,

"Can you help me mate?"

"Sure, what's up?"

He pulled up and said he had these watches he had to get rid of or when he got back to wor his boss'd take them back.....if I wanted one, could have it for nothing Yeah, right...the set-up
Let him do his spiel, seeing where he'd take it.

Told him to take them back to his boss...he pays your wages

He persisted, so I said, "I'm alright, mate!"

He responds by saying, "Yeah, well I'm all black!"

"What?!"

He says, "You may be all white, but as you can see I'm all black!"

Maybe it was my Jonathan Ross impersonation that did it, but this time I clearly enunciated, "I said I am ALRIGHT! Plonker."

"Oh...D'ya wanna buy a watch then?"

Anyone else had any instances where things have been misinterpreted leading to amusing consequences?

 

[kendor]

I was in this shop the other day, trying to buy four candles........

 

[Richardp]

I was in this shop the other day, trying to buy four candles........

I've got some fork handles you can have

 

[noodlz]

Good ol' Ronnie Barker...wonder if at the recent big wake they had four candles lit in his honour? Humour's a great antidote to life

 

[WoodYouLike]

I thought it was a medicine to sustain life, not an antidote against

 

[noodlz]

I stand corrected, Woody

.....whistles Monty Python song

 

[JohnD]

Ah, the old watch con!

Buy a few cheap watches at £2 each with a a fake brandname.

Get a few adverts printed with fake prices of £200 or whatever you want

Drive around looking for people who look a bit simple in car parks, preferably on the motorway where they'll never see you again.

Have a good line in patter but try not to get out of your car where they could beat you up if they know the trick

Try to make them believe these are good watches which retail at £200 and they are taking advantage of you by buying at half price.

Hooray! a £2 watch sold for £100!

 

[noodlz]

Drive around looking for people who look a bit simple

Note to self: do not look so simple

 

[JohnD]

 

[toffee]

in view of this, you need to think ahead..

no longer ask "do I look fat in this?"

and instead start asking, " do I look simple in this?"

 

[noodlz]

in view of this, you need to think ahead..

no longer ask "do I look fat in this?"

and instead start asking, " do I look simple in this?"

I already do...obviously not working

It looks simple, but isn't simple...now I'm confusing myself...it's not difficult

 

[securespark]

wonder if at the recent big wake they had four candles lit in his honour?

Yes, they did!!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/showbiz/tm_objectid=16772055&method=full&siteid=94762-name_page.html

 

[noodlz]

wonder if at the recent big wake they had four candles lit in his honour?

Yes, they did!!

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/showbiz/tm_objectid=16772055&method=full&siteid=94762-name_page.html

Good for them...it would've been really funny if they'd had fork handles, but then s'pose not really the time or place for it.

What a great, funny man...God bless him

 

[ban-all-sheds]

but then s'pose not really the time or place for it.

If not then and there, then when and where?

I'm sure he would have been delighted...

 

[noodlz]

but then s'pose not really the time or place for it.

If not then and there, then when and where?

I'm sure he would have been delighted...

Personally, I agree and I reckon he'd chuckle too.

I'm sure there'd be others who'd see it bordering on the sacrilegious to do that in Westminster Abbey...more's the pity.