Ponderisms

[nelsy]

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people
die of natural causes.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
about seeing UFOs like they used to?

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

[conny]

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

How does a cat get a fur ball in its stomach by licking hair?

How does a male dog with only one back leg have a wee?

 

[wreckedit]

Does eating liquorice give you the best run for your money.

 

[wotan]

Why, when you open a tin of evaporated milk, the tin is full?
Why is there a use by date, on sour cream?

 

[finfloor]

HI,
I'm newbie in here...Sorry but i don't have any idea about your topics...
But i found it more interesting...
Thanks in advance guys keep posting..

 

[wreckedit]

Are you posting from there?

Haven't you got some silly thing to write about ?

 

[nelsy]

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.

 

[vokera80e]

the wife sold our car, to get money for petrol.


she missed the 66 bus, so she took 33 twice.


she got locked in the supermarket and nearly starved to death.


she took a tape measure to bed to see how long she slept.


she's been learning to spell with alphabet soup.



she looks good looking with tights over her head.



she got on the speaking scales, and it said, one at a time please.



when she takes her bra off, they go bungie jumping.

 

[nelsy]

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.