The parting of the ways

[algas]

Get yourself a dog , far more faithfull and reliable.

 

[AngleEyes]

Get yourself a dog , far more faithfull and reliable.

If I may, I'd like to expand on my earlier comment.

Maybe my comments are not much consolation:
If we see potential partners in the same light as we would view an injured wild animal or bird, we'd happily take them in, feed them, look after them and when they're were well enough, we'd willingly set them free to live their own lives.
And we'd wish them well for their future, despite how much we'd miss their company.

We're all sick, injured, hungry, needing of something, in all our different ways, even down to the pets we adopt. And the pets have their needs also.
If we imagine our and others' characters and personalities as jigsaw pieces.
Many times we may meet A N Other, but our personalities clash, the jigsaw pieces can't mesh whatever we do.
Other times we meet people and our personalities, our hunger, our needs fit well together, just like the right jigsaw pieces falling into place, and maybe we form a relationship.
But our sicknesses and injuries heal, our hunger is satiated or changes, our needs change, and the pieces no longer fit so well.
Do we, for the sake of old times, continue with our not so comfortable relationship, or do we think perhaps both of us can find a new more comfortable, more fitting relationship?

If we view our partners as other individuals with their own needs and desires, we must be prepared to recognise their option to live their own lives.

Notwithstanding what I've said above, we do have flexible jigsaw pieces, some more so than others, and sometimes we, and others can fit into many situations.

 

[Justin Passing]

Sorry to hear that Harry.
Stresses of work in teaching can be all-changing because it's a caring occupation, the impact can affect everything.
Stay in touch with Wendy, see what happens. Going back to parents may say more than is clear.

Men can be basatrds too, plenty of much bigger ones.
I'm not convinced men and women are, other than mechanically, different other than the effects of testosterone.
Instincts and generations-old learned behaviour gets implanted in the (epi) genes, plus our needs and wants change over time and we become different people.

Keep options open, maybe try a new social door. Good luck, mate .

 

[ReganAndCarter]

Sorry to hear that Harry. You can have mine if you want.

Seriously, you're a good sport - hope you can pick yourself up soon.

 

[Ihavenojob]

Not nice, but the fact you can broadcast it so soon makes me think it is not so upsetting to you. Just go online, there will always be dozens of beautiful Russian women in your area waiting to meet you.

 

[The Samaritan]

Not nice, but the fact you can broadcast it so soon makes me think it is not so upsetting to you. Just go online, there will always be dozens of beautiful Russian women in your area waiting to meet you.

I totally disagree with that as IMHO, the OP is injured by the shock and awe of this devasting and unexpected news that came as a massive blow.

When it happens, most people will cut themselves off everyone, fearing mockery, blame and feeling guilty as they will be analysing their behaviour as if they were to blame.

Forums like this where someone may have posted for a while and made a few cyber mates is a way to let out your hurt without serious ramifications or people sniggering in front or behind you.

I've met several people at work who were assertive, attractive, intelligent and would often say if he/she cheated on me/left me I'd cut off their... kick them out... never have them back etc. Sadly it did happen and those same people had nervous breakdowns. At times like this, a sibling/parents are the best support imo.

Not always but often older people handle it better. Tragically I know of two people one male and one female when their OH left for another they topped themselves, This is years ago one was a good looking guy aged about 24 at the time and the lush looking young lady was aged about 27.

Best to talk to someone you know/trust often a sibling/parents IMO.

 

[Harry Bloomfield]

Get yourself a dog , far more faithfull and reliable.

Got one already, the one stable thing in my life at the moment

 

[transam]

my mothers sister immigrated to canada with here oldman way back in the 60's

they lived out vancover way , enentually they split up and seperate ways , he got a mail order bride , they lived out in the sticks

he went missing ?? after a couple of years

rumour had it that she may have bumped him off

 

[Ihavenojob]

It all leaves me wondering, was she here for me, or just for some cheap digs whilst she had a job here?

Was there much of an age gap? Did you spend most of the time together, or did she go out with mates? How did you cope in the years between the loss of your partner and meeting her? When you look at the interaction between the two of you, you will probably have the answer to your question.

 

[Harry Bloomfield]

Women eh?, you can't live with 'em, and you can't live with 'em. Please don't take it too badly Harry, pick yourself and dust yourself off, you seem like a sound bloke and I'm sure somebody else more deserving will come along.
You've got plenty of friends on here if you need to talk, although as far as advice on women goes, I'm probably the least qualified person in the world, I've always found women to be strange bastards.

Strange is right. She gave me 12 days notice she was leaving, two less than she gave the school. I wouldn't call it a problem free relationship, I liked her a lot, apart from her drinking to much and occasional ranting, loosing control, plus a seriously strange attitude. She would regularly complain that she was living in a home that some other female had set up, it 'wasn't here's'. Ask her what she might want to change and she had no answer. Suggest something new and she would say what we had was OK. She had never really had to cook before, but learned to cook whilst here - now having the good facilities I/we had. She was free of any money issues, I handled everything, she never cleaned or tidied, I did all that, but she still wasn't happy and at ease - always on edge, never seemed able to just laugh, never seemed to see the funny side of anything.

There were numerous occasions, where I came close to telling her she had to go, all that really held me back was that I am partial to some home company, I hate instability and it seems a shame to have such a home only occupied by me.

I'm a tough cookie, I picked myself up just a few days after she announced she was going and began my preparations for self catering, if she did actually go. I am now chatting with a younger model, a Filipino window of an English husband, whom she says cheated on her and gambled away there money. She is deeply religious, she has only ever had one partner her husband, to whom she was absolutely dedicated until he died and her English is terrible - cannot possibly be worse than my first girlfriend, who was Italian - neither of us spoke a word of the others language at first, all communication via diagrams using pen a paper. She is struggling financially, but has collateral in her property, a grown up son in the army and daughter at uni. Reading up an the Filipino's there would seem to be two types - those who pander to the elderly males and the very straight laced religious types. She claims to be the later and in no particular hurry to get too closely involved. They also have a reputation of being very dedicated and hard working.

Onwards and upwards..

 

[fillyboy]

I'm a tough cookie, I picked myself up just a few days after she announced she was going and began my preparations for self catering, if she did actually go. I am now chatting with a younger model, a Filipino window of an English husband, whom she says cheated on her and gambled away there money. She is deeply religious, she has only ever had one partner her husband, to whom she was absolutely dedicated until he died and her English is terrible - cannot possibly be worse than my first girlfriend, who was Italian - neither of us spoke a word of the others language at first, all communication via diagrams using pen a paper. She is struggling financially, but has collateral in her property, a grown up son in the army and daughter at uni. Reading up an the Filipino's there would seem to be two types - those who pander to the elderly males and the very straight laced religious types. She claims to be the later and in no particular hurry to get too closely involved. They also have a reputation of being very dedicated and hard working.

Onwards and upwards..

Blimey Harry, top man.

 

[Mottie]

I am now chatting with a younger model, a Filipino window of an English husband, whom she says cheated on her and gambled away there money.

Did you start talking to her after Wendy left or before? If I were you, I'd swerve that. There's a saying that there's no fool like an old fool.......

 

[Harry Bloomfield]

Was there much of an age gap? Did you spend most of the time together, or did she go out with mates? How did you cope in the years between the loss of your partner and meeting her? When you look at the interaction between the two of you, you will probably have the answer to your question.

Not much of a gap, 66 versus 74, she almost retired. Neither of us went out very much, apart from going out for meals together, trips and holidays. She only had work mates here, like me no friends locally. Between the loss of my original partner and Wendy I had another, who was trying to be a gold digger - I sent her packing. .

We would sit in the living room watching TV, if was a program of interest to me, she would quietly storm off to watch TV somewhere else - I tend towards the tech, history, archaeology type on TV. I got into a habit of letting her choose the program, she would select something of no real interest to me, so I would be on the laptop. She would pick her phone up and be playing games on that, completely ignoring the TV program she had put on. Head you lose, tails you lose. At least she never watched soaps

 

[charliegolf]

Many people probably do not know what goes on in schools these days.

Or care, frankly.

CG (Career Schoolie)

 

[Notch7]

'm a tough cookie, I picked myself up just a few days after she announced she was going and began my preparations for self catering, if she did actually go. I am now chatting with a younger model, a Filipino window of an English husband, whom she says cheated on her and gambled away there money. She is deeply religious, she has only ever had one partner her husband, to whom she was absolutely dedicated until he died and her English is terrible - cannot possibly be worse than my first girlfriend, who was Italian - neither of us spoke a word of the others language at first, all communication via diagrams using pen a paper. She is struggling financially, but has collateral in her property, a grown up son in the army and daughter at uni. Reading up an the Filipino's there would seem to be two types - those who pander to the elderly males and the very straight laced religious types. She claims to be the later and in no particular hurry to get too closely involved. They also have a reputation of being very dedicated and hard working.

be very very careful with online dating sites -you might find an attractive Fillipino woman in her 50s turns out to be a 23 year old Nigerian man