What never fails to annoy you..

Btw, I hate it when the toilet paper tears anywhere but on the perforations.

ffs you hang it over the top, you tear it on the perforations, what kind of a man are you?
You grab a handful, rip it off, scrunch it up and do the business. You're wiping your a**e not entering an origami contest. :roll:
 
SO WHAT NEVER FAILS TO ANNOY ME YOU ASK?

I'LL TELL YOU!

THE LITTLE FAT BARSTEWARD NEXT DOOR!

THAT'S WHAT!!

In an attempt to slow traffic speeding up our road, about 300m long, I park my van on the opposite side of the road, there have been three cats hit, given time a child will be killed!

The neighbour cares more for his 04 Reg BMW, he asked me to park on this side so as not to endanger his relic, his attitude "s** the cats" however, it's seldom I move the van, today I needed the van, when I got back his parents car is parked outside my house (they have gone to Cyprus for a few weeks) stopping me from parking opposite, this is not the first time the little sheizer has tried to annoy me, however tonight I have parked in front of his drive, HIS BMW IS GOING NOWHERE FAST! I'm using my bike to get to work tomorrow!



You will all be pleased to know that thanks to the intervention of my son, Pred jnr. the problem has been rectified, if I had gone next door he would be in hospital and I would probably be in a cell, Pred jnr. is more of the articulate sort, he does not get that from me!! :lol: :lol: The kleine scheizze had seen the error of his way I think, (it would be quite hard to miss my van blocking their drive) He was more than happy to put his fathers car back outside their house where it has been for the last two days. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
 
however tonight I have parked in front of his drive, HIS BMW IS GOING NOWHERE FAST! I'm using my bike to get to work tomorrow!

ha ha, I had visions of you (not using your van) with 30 tool belts around you on your bike, towing a cement mixer, or carrying a pallet of (something) in your big strong arm whilst pedalling your boardman mountain bike... great image !!
 
Btw, I hate it when the toilet paper tears anywhere but on the perforations.

ffs you hang it over the top, you tear it on the perforations, what kind of a man are you?
You grab a handful, rip it off, scrunch it up and do the business. You're wiping your a**e not entering an origami contest. :roll:

I suppose I'm just naturally neat.

The real problem is that I often find I haven't torn off sufficient paper to cope with the 'demand'.
 
A practical reason for the toilet roll hanging at the back is that you can complete the task with one hand: Pull paper down then tear off whilst holding the roll still with you thumb and forefinger pushed against the bottom of it.

With the paper hanging from the front you have to use both hands or you end up like the Andrex puppy.
 
however tonight I have parked in front of his drive, HIS BMW IS GOING NOWHERE FAST! I'm using my bike to get to work tomorrow!

ha ha, I had visions of you (not using your van) with 30 tool belts around you on your bike, towing a cement mixer, or carrying a pallet of (something) in your big strong arm whilst pedalling your boardman mountain bike... great image !!


Close, :lol: :lol: I'm still stripping the wallpaper at present, then remove the fireplaces, my nail bar is "on site" from where I live, I cross Southmead Rd then head for Horfield school, then I go up that hill by the flats and cut through the hospital and exit the opposite side and my new project is practically opposite the main gate.

Twice I went on my mountain bike, then thought would take my road bike, I only had trainers on not my cycling shoes due to not having a pair at the house to change into, long story, short version, I had to demount and walk up that hill.. :? :?
 
however tonight I have parked in front of his drive, HIS BMW IS GOING NOWHERE FAST! I'm using my bike to get to work tomorrow!

ha ha, I had visions of you (not using your van) with 30 tool belts around you on your bike, towing a cement mixer, or carrying a pallet of (something) in your big strong arm whilst pedalling your boardman mountain bike... great image !!


Close, :lol: :lol: I'm still stripping the wallpaper at present, then remove the fireplaces, my nail bar is "on site" from where I live, I cross Southmead Rd then head for Horfield school, then I go up that hill by the flats and cut through the hospital and exit the opposite side and my new project is practically opposite the main gate.

Twice I went on my mountain bike, then thought would take my road bike, I only had trainers on not my cycling shoes due to not having a pair at the house to change into, long story, short version, I had to demount and walk up that hill.. :? :?

You need energy going up the hill, and you have none! :lol:
 
A practical reason for the toilet roll hanging at the back is that you can complete the task with one hand: Pull paper down then tear off whilst holding the roll still with you thumb and forefinger pushed against the bottom of it.

I'm just trying to visualise that. I'll have to try it.

In the meantime, I've had an idea: I could use scissors to cut the toilet roll into lots of manageable pieces of just the correct length, ready to use. Now I need to think about how to store them so they don't fall all over the floor.
 
I continued the great bog roll debate at work today and again it was a mixed reaction. I think the only solution is to have a national referendum on the subject. :lol:
 
Do you not think it is about time we had a bog roll dispenser using a clever circuit with latest microprocessor that hands you sheets in your hands as you
bring it under the dispenser, and should also have a digital display to let you know how many sheets have so far been dispensed and how many are remaining, so that you don't get caught short!

oh and a low battery alarm! :roll:

You could also give it a voice so that if it has run out of paper, and before you could take your pants down, it should tell you clearly using the speech circuit "Please remember to fill the toilet paper" and there should also be an emergency button to dispense the last 10 sheets in case of a lazy owner forgot to replace empty cartridge of toilet paper.
 
Can I just say something before I duck? :wink:

As long as the Beemer was road legal, it can be parked where the owner likes.

Blocking someone's drive, however, is a civil offence. And I dare say, if someone did it to Pred, he'd get slightly warm under his collar.
 
Do you not think it is about time we had a bog roll dispenser using a clever circuit with latest microprocessor that hands you sheets in your hands as you
bring it under the dispenser, and should also have a digital display to let you know how many sheets have so far been dispensed and how many are remaining, so that you don't get caught short!

oh and a low battery alarm! :roll:

You could also give it a voice so that if it has run out of paper, and before you could take your pants down, it should tell you clearly using the speech circuit "Please remember to fill the toilet paper" and there should also be an emergency button to dispense the last 10 sheets in case of a lazy owner forgot to replace empty cartridge of toilet paper.

Yes! :lol:
 
Having learnt a great deal about toilet paper recently, I think the time has come to consider more modern toilet technologies.

I saw a documentary, recently, that included an all-singing all-dancing Japanese toilet. No, it doesn't actually sing or dance, but it does just about everything else.

In addition to its other interesting assets, it obviates any need for toilet paper. Instead, at the press of a button a jet of warm water is directed at the sitter's nether-regions, immediately followed by a blast of warm, dry air. In fact, you could say literally, 'Look, no hands', as there is absolutely no need for wiping. In fact, the nearest your hand comes to your bottom is to press a button on the toilet furniture.

And no, I'm not making it up.
 
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