Are We Being Tight?

[securespark]

We now have all three of our offspring at home.

Eldest lad has had a job for a good few weeks and the middle one starts tomorrow.

Youngest is in L VIth.

They (both the working lads) are resisting (the eldest quite strongly) paying a contribution towards food and utilities.

We are asking £50 per week for the eldest and a bit less for middle son as his take-home is less.

Are we being unreasonable?

 

[foxhole]

When fostering we receive approx £150 weekly for housekeeping ( food, utility’s, entertainment and clothing).Maybe suggest they have their own cupboard in the kitchen and buy their own food.

 

[crystal ball]

My first wage was £8 take home, mother took £2, bus fares £2, the rest was all mine

 

[JP_]

Sounds OK I think. I think when I started working I paid my parents £100 a month, that would have been in 1997, and I think I recall my dad saying it was to cover food bills.

My kids are only 11 and 14, but when the topic of money comes up I always say "when you start working you can help us out with the bills" - hopefully this will make it all seem OK when the times come around.

Things have gone up, although salaries not so much. But didn't have internet, Netflix, Amazon Prime etc back in those days (I also make sure the kids know how much we spend on all these things, as we have Disney+ and Xbox Premium too!), so potentially a lot of costs that they could contribute to.

In fact, if you have any of these subscriptions, you could tell them "money is tight, we're going to have to cancel Netflix and get a slower internet connection" .... and assuming there is a lock of terror on their faces "unless you can help with the subscriptions" ....

and stop buying snacks that they like to eat.

 

[SirGalahad]

We now have all three of our offspring at home.

Eldest lad has had a job for a good few weeks and the middle one starts tomorrow.

Youngest is in L VIth.

They (both the working lads) are resisting (the eldest quite strongly) paying a contribution towards food and utilities.

We are asking £50 per week for the eldest and a bit less for middle son as his take-home is less.

Are we being unreasonable?

I would give them 2 options. 1 to pay money towards the food and utilities or put that money away for saving towards a house.

I wouldn't be too strict on them and hope they pick option 2.

I would expect when my kids turn 18 they will be at Uni and when they need to buy a house that's when I can step in, I am not going to take my wealth to my grave!

 

[sxturbo]

My parents 20 years ago now, took a 3rd of my wages when I started work,

They said I was an adult now and needed to learn the value of money, and advised if I didn't like it, to look for some where else to live and see if I can find it cheaper.

This paid for food, gas and electric, water (we were on a water meter and I like long showers), washing and ironing use of the garage for my cars etc.

Tbh it was a good deal, and proved early on that I needed to budget my wages as I had bills to pay.

I will be doing the same with my son when he's older, however his money I have decided will be put into a savings fund, so that when he decides to leave home I can say to him here's a big chunk to help with your house deposit.. but I won't tell him that's what I'm doing.

Unfortunately my parents didn't do that as they were pretty hard up struggling to make ends meet each month.

When I left home my parents had managed to secure themselves financially.

 

[noseall]

My Ma had a fifth of my wages and I paid my share of the phone bill and bought a my own (daily) food. Evening meals were family time and included in my board.

 

[diy_fun_uk]

We now have all three of our offspring at home.
Eldest lad has had a job for a good few weeks and the middle one starts tomorrow.
Youngest is in L VIth.
They (both the working lads) are resisting (the eldest quite strongly) paying a contribution towards food and utilities.
We are asking £50 per week for the eldest and a bit less for middle son as his take-home is less.

Are we being unreasonable?

No. I had a YTS job years back, I think my weekly wage was around £29. I gave my mum (single parent) £10 each week.

If they're not children and are working, they should be contributing at least something to the running of the household. To me, and with no disrespect, it also says something about them that they're resisting it so much.

 

[motorbiking]

£50 per week is reasonable, but if your total rent income comes to more than £144.23 p/w (7,500pa), you should declare the income for tax purposes.

 

[Mottie]

We now have all three of our offspring at home.

Eldest lad has had a job for a good few weeks and the middle one starts tomorrow.

Youngest is in L VIth.

They (both the working lads) are resisting (the eldest quite strongly) paying a contribution towards food and utilities.

We are asking £50 per week for the eldest and a bit less for middle son as his take-home is less.

Are we being unreasonable?

When our son started work about 20 years ago, we charged him rent, the idea being to give every penny back to him when he bought a house of his own. I’m still wondering what he'll be able to get for £14.

 

[Takelitterhome]

We now have all three of our offspring at home.

Eldest lad has had a job for a good few weeks and the middle one starts tomorrow.

Youngest is in L VIth.

They (both the working lads) are resisting (the eldest quite strongly) paying a contribution towards food and utilities.

We are asking £50 per week for the eldest and a bit less for middle son as his take-home is less.

Are we being unreasonable?

Gave my parents board from day 1 of work...Cannot comprehend anything different...not doing them any favours giving them a free ride...once working you aint akid anymore.

 

[Takelitterhome]

me, and with no disrespect, it also says something about them that they're resisting it so much.

Agreed..Very.Not uncommon to tip your wages up and be given pocket money..Would not of dreamed of working and not giving back to my parents.

 

[Brigade77]

None of mine ever paid board, they were either working with/for me or in full time education.

No1 son did get quite jealous of the money I was chucking at his sister when she was at vet uni, so I shut him up by saying I'd stop paying both of 'em

I guess it's down to family circumstances. None of mine have ever took the **** because they knew at an early age they'd never get away with it.

 

[wobs]

When I left school at 16, I did an apprenticeship, so earned a bit more than YTS. Still gave them £20 per week, which was a sizeable chunk of what I earned at the time.
Then it was £40/week when my earnings increased. This was late 80s/early 90s, so £50/week is a bargain for them.

Not charging board would be a parenting fail. Nicely summed up by Takelitterhome.

 

[Mottie]

My first wage was £8 take home, mother took £2, bus fares £2, the rest was all mine

Same here. My apprentice wages were £12.80 before tax (32p/hr!) after tax it was just over £9. I gave my mum £3 a week out of that.