Complete the Sentence

righteousness,or was it hell and damnation,unsure of himself he proceeded to go gathering knots of May so that he could present..........

 

-- a bunch of market researchers. "Excuse me sir. What do you think of the government's plans to promote free --"

Oops! I never spotted the new page.

-- his lady friend with the mouthwash she had asked for - but he never used it so he didn't know what to look for. Then he remembered reading something about vodka being better --

 

than urine for easing jellyfish stings. Armed with this vital piece of information he headed to -------------

 

-- the corner shop and bought two bottles of the cheapest vodka on offer. "Let's see how well this stuff works.", he thought as he --

 

emptied the contents into his time machine,not fully understanding that it was a grandfather clock sold to him by a wide boy at a car boot sale........

 

-- for a fiver. Nothing happened for several minutes but then a strange gurgling noise came from within and a cuckoo popped out, dangling stupidly on its spring, and said --

 

ookcuc with a despairing last breath,the vodka had got into his voice box and done for him,now with a useless timepiece the builder was left wondering.......

 

-- whether he could still get the lottery results in time to buy a ticket. Suddenly, the light bulb came on : He already had last weeks results so all he had to do was --

 

rip the ticket up... head into Paddy Power and place a bet on....

 

-- Cloud Cuckoo in the two thirty at Eastgate. For the clock was surely an omen --

 

......but not a good one... unfortunately a bunch of saboteurs sat on the course in protest .....which would have been quite harmless if that combine harvester hadn't unexpectedly left the road and ploughed into.....

 

-- the golf course next door where they were shooting Pirates of the Caribbean V - Nemo's Revenge. The giant machine came to rest in a tropical swamp and the dazed crew staggered out: "Where the hell are we --

 

...Starbucks Sir, can I get you a coffee? Captain Quirk put his head in his hands and wept.
A man wearing a sheepskin coat...

 

-- shouted "CUT!! Show me the bit of script where it says Captain Nemo's COMBINE HARVESTER emerges from the swamp! What do I have to do to get --"

 

a skinny latte in this place?" the automatic doors opened with a sound like a.............