Life in a recession after redundancy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[alsheating]

I'd like to share how hopeless I feel right now, in order to get some sound advice or sympathy

I was made redundant in late 2008 from a fairly good sales job in a home automation company on good renumeration, although the reccession caused the company to collapse and left me on the dangle.

Since then, I have struggled with anxiety and derpession in fact most my life, but however I managed to kick the anti depressants out of my life.

I now realise why I took them, I'm a nice person and all but lack esteem, lost touch and have no friends except OAP nieghbours. anyway I'm getting back into "life" again slowly, doing normal thinsg like jogging and shopping, gardening.
But it is really difficult, everyday seems the same and neverending, I try and go out and about, with tight limits on JSA, I feel like I'll never get a job or work or have any money to even go to tesco and do household shopping again, I have had temporary jobs but you might aswell cal them modern day manual slave labour esp with pay rates and they make me feel like a dogs turd, last job was putting sleeves on 10 pkx of john west Tuna all day long.
I am glad to be living in my family home, other wise I would have hung myself or died of starvation, I did try it once with a slipknot but as soon as my hearing started stalling I cancelled.

What do I do??? I apply for jobs all day with no joy, I have no where to go and not a lot to do with not a lot of money and nobody to see notinh to look forward to, and spend my day in isolation mostly even outdoors.

My mates are mostly married have kids, livlihoods and seem happy.....correction my ex mates, who were not really mates it seems.

I am muslim also, so I grew up without venturing into courting or dating thinking I'd get an arranged marriage and that would be it only to find out that my folks wanna take me to all the way to Bangladesh to marry a 1st cousin, just the though makes me sick, not her but the cousin marrying bit.
Islamic advice is to be patient, but at this rate just being patient I am sure to die of lonliness or even go insane with all the issues in my life.

what do I do????? im 29 but look 18 under 16 sometimes when I want to buy smokes.

And to top that all my house is empty across the road from where I live, every moring I go there to turn the lights off and open the curtains and do vice versa in the evenings. this lonley routine, and restricted life with limited money and the other issues esp with no one to discuss them with is driving me crazy...I actually find myself having discussions in my mind with myself................................... and constantly staring out the windows

please some some adult advice, and please do not tell me to go and see a psycologist as I am not mad yet...... but I am suffering.

 

[kevindgas]

you have my sympathy

 

[wreckedit]

I have been out of work for several periods of time and if your not used to it then it can be a problem.
It seems to me that being occupied in a job that suits you is what you want. Try anything once.
Why don't you go to a person or company that needs sales and work on a commission/expences bases. Be self employed so they don't have to look after you if you're sick etc.
If you have an empty house then let out some rooms to get some cash.
You're allowed £80 a week without paying tax. Do not tell them about the others though.
Its a good idea to either walk, ride or dig for several hours a day because the body needs it.
Lots of people want some sort of work done and are afraid to ask or cannot afford it. So, make them an offer they cannot refuse.
You must "sign on" and ask about the various courses that you can go on.
I took in a DHSS guy and got him on a computer course which is now costing the tax payer £1400.
Think of something you can do and get some business cards made, and offer them out.
Don't be afraid to get married to somebody who is rich, people are doing it all the time. Marriage is not for life, not like dogs are.
If you had a womb I could offer you some more advice that seems to work for quite a few people I know.
A guy I know has 3 partners and 5 kids and it didn't help him one little bit but the partners have loads of welfare, jobs, housing and new boyfriends.
Some job agents offer you a few weeks of work and claim they don't know that it breaks the 16hr/wk rule. Get work mates and see if you can work the job together. Good luck.

 

[alsheating]

Thanks mate, much appreciated

I think it is the fact that I have no livlihood, and no income which is the real problem, once I have this sorted everything should follow, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who is staying at home all day on the verge of going nuts.. lol

I try and go out every day at all parts of the day, in fact I do go out, I try and space things out....like jogging, walking, shopping, internet, jobseraching, learning to start a business, family, and so on,
there was a point where I was only going out once a fortnight to the jobcentre, I hate the job centre, as I am 29 I am not entitled to free training although the 6 month incentive still applies......the advicors drive me nuts, they are lucky to have the job they have, and act as though they are paying me out of thier own pockets..they do nothing to help except verify my address and verify I have not been working every fortnight...and the same old jobs.

I am learning or getting back in touch with printing and hopefully, this hobby should prove to be fruitful....low cost also but even that is a struggle to get started and I dont want to ask my parents as there eyes will be on success

I am seriously considering moving out of this gold fish bowl town called Ipswich where everyone knows everyone, maybe working abroad, esp with the demand for english speaking workers, I will give this a shot this week.

Thanks for the advice, I do not feel that bad now, the isolation I guess makes me feel insane and I am the only one going through this, but we are in a recession after all.

PS what do you mean dont buy an ideal as they wont honour the gurantee
also this forum is great, way better than chatrooms

 

[lifesagasman]

been there. 10 years inacapacity, nearly dying..loss of income is very hard, but my philosophy is that something turns up in the end, and for me it did. full health now.

have you thought about voluntary work abroad? it works for some and looks good on a C.V.

never give up.

 

[obmcfc]

Has someone said voluntary jobs mate, gets you experience, also get down the local library and read, take courses etc

My sister was my mums carer and didn't have a job for 15 years, for 15 years before that she worked in shirt factory, her complete life was just looking after our mum, when mum passed away she was completely lost with such a void, I moaned her into going to library and courses

In past 14 months, she now had done 2 PC courses and a first aid course, also helps out at local church mum and tots group and had her first job interview this week for almost 30 years

Good luck and stay strong, your true friends will always be there for you as I have found out

 

[Bahco]

Citizens Advice Bureau may offer you a new lease of life if you enjoy helping people.

I have been doing it for nearly a year and learned such a lot and enjoy it very much.

Give them a ring and PM me if you need any help with the forms they send out.

 

[Alastairreid]

You sound like a thoroughly decent guy , most of us have been through really dark times in our lives! hopefully you have been through the worst and you find a light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep your chin up and head held high, good luck Al.

 

[Johnmelad502]

Chin up mate, things will get better.

You seem to like gardening so why not nip round to your local Help The Aged and see if they could use your skills as a volunteer.

Do you have family nearby?

 

[crank39]

I lost my job back in 2008, i was a joiner on 32k when the company was put up for sale but eventually traded down and closed before it was bought. They made false promises about various training courses so i could stay on with a different side of the business but after 3 months of keeping me on hold they told me to sign on and to stop pestering them.

Been on JSA ever since and trying to run a house at the same time is pretty hard, all luxurys have gone, got no car, got no spare cash for bus fare, the joke centre is a waste of time, my advisor was sell double glazing 3 months ago and now he's telling me how to find a job. I was late once in signing on because a lift i rely on was late getting out of work, when i got there i had the riot act read to me and threats of my money being stopped, apparently my £64.30 includes bus fare for the journey to sign on, when i asked for a break down of what it does actually cover they refused and just quickly signed me on.

Yes, i hate going but up till recently its the only time i've been getting out of the house. Im depressed, im putting on weight, my mates dont call anymore, i dont go out as i wont sponge of anyone. I get moaned at by my sister saying i sould take any job offered even cleaning at £5.80 ph, at the moment i've been transfered to flexible new deal, i go every two weeks to do a job search with all the other 'cant work wont work' scum bags, we sit there all day searching papers and jobsites yet i do all that at home, then i have progress reviews, what a joke they are, clueless and all they are bothered about is getting out the dole queue and into ANY job they can so they hit their government set targets and get a bonus.

I've contemplated lots of things, some not nice, some even worse and if it wasnt for my girlfriend supporting me then i dread to think where i'd be now. She keeps saying things will pick up and 2 jobs will come along and you'll have a choice then , i apply for at least 2 jobs a week sometimes 3 or 4, i ve had the sorry but not this time letters and i ve had interviews, 1500 people applied once for 3 positions, makes you wonder why you bother. My girlfriend told me the other day that she's noticed im getting bitter and that i snap a lot, bought a tear to my eyes when she said it because i've never been like that.

Some good news today though, i got a phone call from a company asking me to come in for an interview tomorrow, trouble is its in birmingham and im in derby, i knew this when i applied and would sort out a lift somehow but at such short notice im struggling a bit until my girlfriend said she'd take the day off work and take me, bless her.

Where will it all end i wonder, life is so s**t at the moment.

 

[Steve]

If you really want to work, Supermarkets are always after staff. IIRC, T*sco pay the best wages for basic staff (it pains me to say that because I work for the smallest of the big 5, T*sco being the biggest). Im not trying to insult you and your training etc, but it could be a stop gap for you. As a tip, convenience store formats have higher staff turnover. Be warned though, most stores get 30-40 applications per vacancy in a week.

Anythings better than being on JSA, imo. I'd prefer to work in any job before signing on.

 

[cornishwizard]

http://www.samaritans.org/

 

[ColJack]

nice to know it's not just me then...
sad, fat loner spending all day on the computer looking for work.. getting more and more depressed..

 

[lifesagasman]

as has been said, you soon find out who your true mates are.

 

[ColJack]

I've never really had mates.. just aquaintances..
people I went to school with and hung out with at school.. they al lived the other side of the school and I wasn't going to cycle 3-4 miles to hang out after school.
then there's work mates, again, great lads in work but I never went out drinking with them or anything except for the x-mas drink on the day they send you home early for the holidays.