Long distance relationship

[Steve]

In reply to Crafty's OP, it all depends on the situation. If its because she's just gone off to University or something, then you've got no chance - Sorry...

No no no, all my friends went to uni a good 4 years ago - the ones that did go. Many of them have said they aint coming back to Doncaster. Traitors.

This special lady lives in Southport, Merseyside. I live in Doncaster, South Yorkshire. She used to live in Doncaster, she had to move away when she finished her GCSEs, as her dad had a new job in Preston or another Lancashire town (I never knew her back then). Her parents are moving again, to Ashton under Lyme (closer to Don by about 50 miles), after much thought she is staying in Southport in a flat share for the time being. Her new flat is exactly 115 miles from my house.

Its not like I can go over at weekends - i work many sundays, she works most saturdays! I've known her for 4 years (since we were 18 ) but only really got to know her the last few months, via text messages (340 each per month ) and MSN messenger, and she was in Rotherham at the weekend to see her older sister, I saw her then.

Perhaps I should forget about her until such time she sees sense and moves back to Doncaster (she has said this might happen, but she knows I'll do anything for her, as a friend). We havent "commited ourselves" by kissing or anything yet. I had a good talk to her the other night in Meadowhall, I finally got her on her own away from her sister for a couple of hours. Neither of us are still clear about what we want. But she said I'd be welcome to come and see her new flat, and share her double bed. We're both young, (22, not 17, not 16, both born 1985) and I guess "a bit of fun" would hurt nobody.

Her older sister disapproves of any relationship between the two of us - theres history with her, we snogged one night in a night club. She thinks im a looser, and nobody is good enough for her little sister. I think shes just jealous 'cos shes 26 and single.

I cant believe I'm telling you guys this!!!! I almost feel like Moz, pouring out my feelings!! But I appreciate his issues were much darker. Any advice from the older/wiser forum members, those who've been through similar?

 

[JohnD]

Give it a try, you'll only regret it if you don't

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

If I was callous, I'd say, give it a time limit, if she shows no sign of moving within X months, call it a day. If she means it, she'll move.

p.s. you might like to study the theory:
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

 

[Steve]

If I was callous, I'd say, give it a time limit, if she shows no sign of moving within X months, call it a day. If she means it, she'll move.

She wasnt planning to move because of me, but more a long term plan of hers to move back to doncaster.

 

[JohnD]

give it a time limit anyway.

 

[libby lou lou]

My thoughts are if you really felt for each other, and you want things to happen, you must make time, her have sat off, you sunday.
If she has not mentioned anything like that, maybe she's thinking like you." let's see what happens".

 

[pna]

Nothing will happen, apart from spending money on text messages, unless you go see her/ she comes to see you.

If your are interested, both book Sat/ Sun off and meet up - if you dont want to do this or she doesn't then you might as well forget it, stop texting and spend the money saved on drinks (for others) instead.

 

[johnny_t]

In reply to Crafty's OP, it all depends on the situation. If its because she's just gone off to University or something, then you've got no chance - Sorry...

No no no, all my friends went to uni a good 4 years ago - the ones that did go. Many of them have said they aint coming back to Doncaster. Traitors.

This special lady lives in Southport, Merseyside. I live in Doncaster, South Yorkshire. She used to live in Doncaster, she had to move away when she finished her GCSEs, as her dad had a new job in Preston or another Lancashire town (I never knew her back then). Her parents are moving again, to Ashton under Lyme (closer to Don by about 50 miles), after much thought she is staying in Southport in a flat share for the time being. Her new flat is exactly 115 miles from my house.

Its not like I can go over at weekends - i work many sundays, she works most saturdays! I've known her for 4 years (since we were 18 ) but only really got to know her the last few months, via text messages (340 each per month ) and MSN messenger, and she was in Rotherham at the weekend to see her older sister, I saw her then.

Perhaps I should forget about her until such time she sees sense and moves back to Doncaster (she has said this might happen, but she knows I'll do anything for her, as a friend). We havent "commited ourselves" by kissing or anything yet. I had a good talk to her the other night in Meadowhall, I finally got her on her own away from her sister for a couple of hours. Neither of us are still clear about what we want. But she said I'd be welcome to come and see her new flat, and share her double bed. We're both young, (22, not 17, not 16, both born 1985) and I guess "a bit of fun" would hurt nobody.

Her older sister disapproves of any relationship between the two of us - theres history with her, we snogged one night in a night club. She thinks im a looser, and nobody is good enough for her little sister. I think shes just jealous 'cos shes 26 and single.

I cant believe I'm telling you guys this!!!! I almost feel like Moz, pouring out my feelings!! But I appreciate his issues were much darker. Any advice from the older/wiser forum members, those who've been through similar?

I'd go for it, if I were you. Straight over the M62 and you'll be there in a couple of hours. Even if it comes to nothing, it'll all be worth it.

As for Moz, don't worry too much about him. He pops up under a different username on another forum I go to. He's even pretended to commit suicide a couple of times but its fairly obvious when he pops up again. I have to PM people when they get upset that he may have offed himself and explain that he hasn't....