What have you been doing today?

[Mottie]

I did the self same thing, running to the ice cream van, tanner in my mouth when I got there it was gone, re appeared next day looking black and tarnished

Heh heh, yes! The blackened tanner. Had mine for months afterwards and then spent it!

 

[EddieM]

Today I found out it was international men's day. Shortly after finishing the housework.

 

[conny]

I had a threepenny bit in my mouth whilst waiting for my mum to come out of a shop when I was about 5-6 years old. When she came out she gently tapped me on the back of my head and said, "Come on, next shop." Yep! I swallowed my pocket money. Had to sit on a bucket for a week each time I wanted to go to the toilet. It never did turn up.
(And yes, I've had all the jokes and jibes about "No change then?" )

 

[CBW]

(And yes, I've had all the jokes and jibes about "No change then?" )

Probably heard it, but obviously you’re still waiting for the penny to drop I’ll get my coat

 

[durhamplumber]

had to sit on a bucket for a week

First glance..thought you had missed the h out!

 

[crystal ball]

Bit of a cheapskate at least me and Mottie had silver in our poo

 

[Mottie]

Been piddling about with an old firestick today in preparation for my 4K one arriving next week. I bought an Ethernet connector for it and tried it out. I got this speed on wifi:

And this speed on Ethernet:

Not that much in it but it was only £13.

 

[conny]

Bit of a cheapskate at least me and Mottie had silver in our poo

Yes, which were perfectly rounded. Try swallowing a dodecagon!

 

[Mottie]

Oh fiddlesticks or words to that effect!

Bought a 'Bento box' for 2 today from Sainsbury’s for a quick tea tonight (me neither!) and ****ed it right up. Microwaved it, scorching hot, transferring to a plate and dropped the curry on the chair. Don’t know how I did it - just missed the dog too who was hovering around. Luckily it was only Mrs Motties portion so I didn’t go without. Not really, I shared my curry with her. Needn’t have bothered though, it was bloody 'orrible. We rarely have ready meals, never again!

 

[EddieM]

Oh dear. Yesterday I ordered a Chinese takeaway, nothing fancy, just chicken chow mein and Singapore fried rice. Then I changed my mind and thought I'd changed it to Singapore chow mein and egg fried rice, sadly I mixed it up and ordered egg fried rice and Singapore fried rice. Unfortunately I'm not a massive rice fan ! Fail!

 

[HERTS P&D]

Looks like you sh1t on the floor Mottie.



Andy

 

[Mottie]

Looks like you sh1t on the floor Mottie.



Andy

Yep, looks like someone sharted at the table!

 

[Brigadier]

Oh fiddlesticks or words to that effect!

Bought a 'Bento box' for 2 today from Sainsbury’s for a quick tea tonight (me neither!) and ****ed it right up. Microwaved it, scorching hot, transferring to a plate and dropped the curry on the chair. Don’t know how I did it - just missed the dog too who was hovering around. Luckily it was only Mrs Motties portion so I didn’t go without. Not really, I shared my curry with her. Needn’t have bothered though, it was bloody 'orrible. We rarely have ready meals, never again!

View attachment 212268 View attachment 212269

Perhaps you wouldn't have dropped it if you hadn't been pizzing around on your phone at the time

 

[Mottie]

Perhaps you wouldn't have dropped it if you hadn't been pizzing around on your phone at the time

Wasn’t pizzing around on phone. Was trying to be careful, too careful, transferring curry the temperature of molten lava from a tray to a plate!

 

[Mottie]

Oh dear. Yesterday I ordered a Chinese takeaway, nothing fancy, just chicken chow mein and Singapore fried rice. Then I changed my mind and thought I'd changed it to Singapore chow mein and egg fried rice, sadly I mixed it up and ordered egg fried rice and Singapore fried rice. Unfortunately I'm not a massive rice fan ! Fail!

That’s a bugger, especially when you don’t get what you expected. I had a takeaway fail once. Many, many years ago I came home very late from work so I told the wife I’d pick up a takeaway. I called in my local KFC and bought myself three pieces of chicken and chips. I was starving. Outside the KFC was a very dirty scruffy individual known to all as 'The Hornchurch tramp'. He was rooting about in the bin for leftovers. Poor sod I thought, so I also ordered one piece of chicken and chips for him. I gave it to him on my way out and he was grateful. Driving home, I could smell the chicken and chips in the van and was almost salivating. Got indoors, opened my meal up and......one ****ing piece of chicken and chips! I’d given him my meal with three pieces by mistake. Served me right for being tight!