Once I had to fly to Paris to do a repair job on a electrical panel we supplied, and my boss said I could borrow another guy from the office who spoke a bit of French and since I didn't know a word of French, he could act as an interpreter if I might come unstuck, so we both flew and landed safely in Paris, got on with our job, this office guy could barely speak French so was a complete waste of time and money, in the end they understood English better than his poor French!
Any way call him Bob, name changed for obvious reason, I finished repairs and were ready to fly back, we had 2 hours to kill, so sitting in the lounge I asked Bob if he fancied a drink, and he replied yes why not and he said he would go and get it, so I stayed by the lounge chair with all my electrical and electronic equipment and tools, 10 minutes gone and he is not back, I am wondering what happened to him, then I saw him coming back empty hands hugely disappointing, no drinks in his hands, I asked Bob, where is the bloody beer?
He replied the French bar staff wouldn't understand him as he tried to buy two lots of 150 centi liters of beer! poor sods were so confused never had anyone asked for 150 Cl of beer before, so they couldn't give him any, Bob thought he would better ask the French barman in centi liters as they wouldn't know what a pint of beer is!
So I got up, and asked Bob to give me the money and I will go and get it, I got to the bar and asked for " two beers please " and there they were, paid and came back with a big grin on my face, and teased Bob what a prat he is and since he was especially sent with me on my Boss's insistence that take him as he speaks French!
Any ways, whilst we were at the Lounge, I asked Bob if I could use his Duty Free allowance, and purchased 200 B&H, and used my allowance and bought another 200, then I got a bit greedy and bought 400 more, so we were 400 cigarettes over the limit, and as he was dressed up neatly with a suit and a tie, whilst I wore a T-shirt and a pair of jeans, with my well worn out leather jacket, and I looked a druggy!
So I suggested to Bob that if he carried my extra 400 cigarettes in his brief case, and I will carry my duty free bag as well as all the tool kit, an oscilloscope strapped on my shoulder, and a few more bits in spares, I made myself look a real suspect, and asked Bob to let me walk ahead of him and draw their attention towards me and so they would stop me the dodgy looking guy whilst Bob in his office suit would be least suspected and they wouldn't even look at him.
However, I was completely wrong, I purposely tried to eye ball the customs officers to pull me and engage with me to divert them from stopping bob, they did not even look at me, and so I continued walking and Bob was 10 strides behind, and when turned around I could not believe they had stopped him!
But i promised Bob that should he be very unfortunate and get pulled over, I will own those extra cigarettes and pay any fines or duty, so I got out in the Arrival lounge, now waiting for Bob, 5 minutes later two Customs officer holding Bob by his Arms escorting him towards me, as Bob pointing them to me where I was waiting for him.
So I stepped forward and asked Customs Officer, is there any problem sir, and they said yes, "Are these your cigarettes" and I replied yes Sir, I couldn't carry them so I gave it to Bob to carry them for me, and they replied I better come in then,
So went back in with them, they charged me VAT on those extra 400 duty free cigarettes, and let me go with a warning for failing to declare.
I saved nothing on the extra 400 cigarettes, as I had to pay £40.00 in duty, so in the end I saved nothing as the cost after paying the Duty was the same as I would have paid in a shop in UK. I was gutted!
Then came the good bit, as we were heading for the car park, at Stanstead air port, we took a wrong path, and ended up having to climb down a steep embankment, we should have used a tunnel from the arrival lounge, so as we got down to the car park, it was dark now, around 8pm, car park was deserted, just a few cars, hardly any people, i noticed a duty free bag someone left in one of the parking bays and forgot to put it in his boot, so I saw it first and told Bob, look what I am seeing, and Bob looked and said what is it, so when Bob realised it was a duty free bag, he started to rush towards it, and I shouted to Bob stop Bob, it could be a bomb, and he stopped and I told Bob let me deal with it Bob as I would know how to diffuse a bomb! (jokingly) but I knew it wouldn't be a bomb, I just did not want Bob to claim the duty free goodies in that bag!
So as I got to the bag, I was pleasantly rewarded with 200 B&H ! that made my day, what I paid extra to those Customs Officers, I got my money back and a job well done in Paris!