Gay

[securespark]

My 6 yo returned from a sports activity day today, calling his brothers "gay".

We asked him where he had heard the word and what it meant. He explained that a group of older boys (8-12) had called him gay and told him "it's where boys kiss boys and girls kiss girls".

We expained that in this context it wasn't used in a nice way, and he did not like it when the older boys used it towards him, so he shouldn't use it towards anybody else.

I'm now terrified this incident may have planted a seed in his head - I don't want him growing up thinking there's a stigma attached to being gay.

What should I say to him next?

 

[johnny_t]

My first bit of advice would be not to worry about it too much - He's six and this day will all be forgotten about long before it becomes relevant. No need to sit him down for a powerpoint on diversity just yet.

If you can't stop worrying, try to retalk about it with him. Tell him that its silly to call people who aren't gay, gay. Those boys are silly, but you know he's not, which is why you were surprised at him. Don't go on about it too much, but you can throw in that being gay is just fine if that's what you want, but again remember, he's only six, and advanced discussion on lifestyle choice is going to be a bit beyond him.

But if he persist, don't reward it with any attention - Just say 'Don't be silly, James (or whatever his name is)' and then lavish extra attention on his brother as a result.

 

[keyplayer]

And what does his other Dad think?

 

[Adam_151]

And what does his other Dad think?

I'm now terrified this incident may have planted a seed in his head - I don't want him growing up thinking there's a stigma attached to being gay.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but ins't there indeed a stigma?, and there always has been? and sorry if my views arn't PC or popular, but its not 'normal' and most of us find the very thought of it disturbing, I'm all for civil liberties as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, but they should accept that they are abnormal and not expect society to consider it as normal.

As I said, a view point that many will strongly object to, but there you go

 

[ellal]

'gay' is the latest playground insult - just like 'spaz' used to be in my schooldays..

Correct me if I'm wrong, but ins't there indeed a stigma?,

Only in the minds of those who think that THEY are better than others...

 

[securespark]

johnny -

Good advice - ta!

 

[ninebob]

I am so glad that johnny_t replied before I saw this topic. I obviously have strong views on the topic, but equally (by definition) I'm not a parent, so wouldn't have a clue how to react.

Having read his response, I think it's perfect.

You have a smart 6 year old if he's told you that gay is when "boys kiss boys and girls kiss girls". He's clearly well educated (either by you as parents or by his teachers).

His usage of the term as an insult is (in my opinion) only due to other children and their parents, who might use "gay" as a derogatory term.

I agree that for now, just let it ride. Don't go barging in with more info than is appropriate at 6. If it becomes apparent that he's learned more in the playground, counter it with reasoned education. Only you can figure out the relationship between what he thinks he knows and what you choose to tell him.

 

[joe-90]

None of it really matters. We will all be what we will be. Our DNA is the piper and we all dance to its tune - whatever orientation that may be.

joe

 

[big-all]

My 6 yo returned from a sports activity day today, calling his brothers "gay".

We asked him where he had heard the word and what it meant. He explained that a group of older boys (8-12) had called him gay and told him "it's where boys kiss boys and girls kiss girls".

We expained that in this context it wasn't used in a nice way, and he did not like it when the older boys used it towards him, so he shouldn't use it towards anybody else.

I'm now terrified this incident may have planted a seed in his head - I don't want him growing up thinking there's a stigma attached to being gay.

What should I say to him next?

if required i would just explain that "some people just feel different inside about boys and girls"
and explain its like calling you [a boy] a girl
and as we all know at that age thats an insult

 

[JohnD]

kids will insult each other about anything. Specs, ginger hair, having a mum who's in some way different...

I have an idea the best insults are the ones that upset the recipient, so maybe these are the ones that get used again.

 

[williams89]

And what does his other Dad think?

 

[Nige F]

Get him to download "The Island of Dreams" by the Seekers and put it on his iPod and explain that words change their meaning over time, his mates will crack up @ the lyrics .Or is it Stamen

 

[joe-90]

How about Herman's Hermits No milk today?

"The company was gay we turn'd night into day"

Or a Donovan song "I sit with my friends in the gay crowded room".


Or what about the woman gardener in Gardners World named "Gay Search"?

Try putting that into Google!



joe

 

[williams89]

It would seem my posts were deemed inappropriate. The MODS have it.

Thats O K with me.


BE HAPPY

 

[williams89]

WHAT A GAY DAY. Lets go into the garden for a romp.
A dance pehaps. Gay Gordon.

BE HAPPY