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[Studders]

Studders

YOU BEAT ME TO IT!!!



I had a guy who I fitted a ceiling light (supplied by him) for in 1996. Yes, you guessed, he rang up last month complaining one of the lampholders was not working and what was I going to do about it....Can you believe it?

Feeky Chucker!

Oh I can believe it. I trust you dropped everything, rushed round and replaced it pronto and FOC to boot.

 

[ban-all-sheds]

Oh I can believe it. I trust you dropped everything, rushed round and replaced it pronto and FOC to boot.

AND refunded part of the original charge as compensation for his inconvenience, I hope...

 

[securespark]

I did MORE than that folks.

I refunded the entire original invoice total and gave him the light fitting for free (as some supermarkets do - refund & replace)

Just to make sure the poor fellow was not out of pocket, I adjusted the figures to take into account the rise in the cost of living, and made it inex-linked for the future, so that each year he will get a small sum to account for any increases in cost of living.

Do you think I have done enough for the guy? I wouldn't want him to be put off coming back to me for any future work...........

 

[Studders]

Do you think I have done enough for the guy? I wouldn't want him to be put off coming back to me for any future work...........

Well you did make a 'bit of an effort' I grant you but, I see no mention of punitive compensation to cover his post traumatic stress at being sans a bulb for a period of time.

 

[securespark]

I'll get on to it toute suite. How much would Claims Direct get for their client. I'll double it......

 

[Big_Spark]

Personally I think you should have offered to pay off his mortgage and pleasure his wife for him...and that is of course on top of your already, I must say, amateurish and rather meagre efforts

 

[funkydiver]

and of course to give him your whole herd of camels for the trouble...

Frankly, your efforts at customer focus are absurd... if I was you I'd be looking for a job as a call centre customer service operative

FD

 

[funkydiver]

having reviewed the thread so far, I've decided that I really am not in a position to carry out the work myself due to the following points.

1. I can buy my own Clipsal gear and blame someone else if it goes wrong..
2. My mortgage is secure if I get a spark in.
3. MY wife will be pleasured (no mean feat)
4. I'll get a full refund on the job in 2047.

Can't go wrong really can I???

FD

 

[securespark]

Hmmmm. "Wife-pleasuring a speciality" will go straight onto the next flyer.

 

[funkydiver]

Could I also suggest "Full money back guarantee when it rains" as a strap line...?

You are limiting your market to men who are married with the wife pleasuring tag line....


FD

 

[securespark]

Yes. Do you think D*nkey-pleasuring goes too far?

I've decided to hang it all and sell my house. I'll give him 250K, and buy a flat with the remainder........


As long as he doesn't come back for more. Wishing now I'd never done the b*oody job for him.

 

[funkydiver]

I'm sorry, but if you can afford to buy a flat with the remainder, you really are not customer focussed enough... you should be happy with a static caravan and a chemical toilet...

On a serious note though, I don't know that many people with a D*nkey... lol

 

[securespark]

Hell, I've just given away my perverted secret............

Ok Change "Donkey" for "Quadruped".

 

[ban-all-sheds]

I don't want anybody to think I regard it as a perversion, as I don't, but if you are going to include "Wife Pleasuring" as a service, keep a close eye on the progress of laws for homosexual equality.......

 

[funkydiver]

OK, latest update...

As the post identifies... I have a "few" wiring issues to deal with in a house I move into on 14th May...

I have taken the learned advice of this thread, and have so far had little response for a true professional...

Due to this I would like to open up the tender to anyone interested. Travel expenses will of course be paid to me in cash prior to the journey being undertaken by you... plus I have 4 quadrupeds, not one of which is a d*nkey.

I will of course be expecting a deposit by the successful winner to be paid by BACS yesterday to cover any eventualities which may happen in 2195 AD (after all the contract will be passed down as part of my estate)

I look forward to your multiple pleas for this honoured position....