notb665 said:
Thermo is right; that's a different topic - but I agree anyway.
PS: I know of at least one child who was born in a stable.
The age you have children
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Thermo is right; that's a different topic - but I agree anyway.
PS: I know of at least one child who was born in a stable.
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S
Shutpa
They have now! However, it is your topic and in my opinion you have the right to remain on course or to change direction as you wish. Since you have chosen the latter, can I just comment on your post. I live in a very small estate. One of the streets has just 5 houses, 1,3,5,7 and 9. There are children living in each house. A woman in one one of the houses had an affair with her neighbours husband and the two of them moved off somewhere. Her own husband then moved in with the remaining wife and they still live together. However, she now has a very open relationship with a married man in my street and I am not joking, he also is having an affair with his best friends wife, who also lives in my street. It really does get worse but I really don't have time to spell out the gory details. I will just add that the poor kids are caught right in the middle and apparantly non of the parents involved gives a toss.
Well, maybe then "the age when you are in a stable and loving relationship"?
Other people mentioned money and that might not have anything to do with age.
i chose to 'live a little' before settling down.
once i got my mid-late twenties out of the way, i figured it was time to maybe explore the idea of settling down and starting a family.
few partners fitted the bill but it was fun trying.
when 'the right one' did arrive, i knew it was time.
once i got my mid-late twenties out of the way, i figured it was time to maybe explore the idea of settling down and starting a family.
few partners fitted the bill but it was fun trying.
when 'the right one' did arrive, i knew it was time.
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Does it depend on what your opinion of 'living a little' is? You say it like kids are the end of your life.
notb665 said:
Kids might not be the end of your life but they certainly put a big dent in it. Quite a few activities go out of the window as soon as the first baby arrives. This really came home to me when somebody at work said "That's it. If anybody wants me I'll be in the pub!" Going to the pub? I have a vague memory of that. It must have been in the years BC (before children).
A million and one other things have slipped away almost undetected. Finding things where you left them is one. Leaving the kitchen tidy and coming home to find it still tidy is another - or is that just a subset of the first? Then there are the endless requests to run a taxi service. It's not just the school run (which wasn't too bad because it was a school walk). They have to be ferried around from one function to the next and they dump their friends on you too. "Can we pick up little Johnny on the way? He only lives in Low Fell.
" Aarrgghhh! I was looking forward to a bath and a Carlsberg tonight - and I'm going to miss Star Trek! When they were babies I looked forward to the day when they turned into teenagers. Some older parents rolled their eyes in disbelief but I now know that I was right. They can be left on their own for starters so we can go to the pub. At least that's the theory. When we did finally get to the pub I was so horrified at the price of beer that we never went back!
On the credit side they get themselves up and out to school in the morning. I even get a cuppa in bed if I'm lucky! noseall said:
I did my 'living a little' in my student years, six of them thirteen years BC. Settled down? I'm not sure that I ever really did!
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notb665 said:
Kids might not be the end of your life but they certainly put a big dent in it. Quite a few activities go out of the window as soon as the first baby arrives. This really came home to me when somebody at work said "That's it. If anybody wants me I'll be in the pub!" Going to the pub? I have a vague memory of that. It must have been in the years BC (before children).
A million and one other things have slipped away almost undetected. Finding things where you left them is one. Leaving the kitchen tidy and coming home to find it still tidy is another - or is that just a subset of the first? Then there's the endless requests to run a taxi service. It's not just the school run (which wasn't too bad because it was a school walk). They have to be ferried around from one function to the next and they dump their friends on you too. "Can we pick up little Johnny on the way? He only lives in Low Fell.
But surely there comes a point when you are ready to give those things up/do those things? It did for me, and with two kids under five I am having a whale of a time.
Dont you just love your kids
Despite the
, I find comments like this distasteful. Many a true word said in jest, eh?A lot of kids seem to be born not into a relationship of true love, but because of something else. I think this is partly responsible for
notb665 said:
Given the outrageous price of a pint
, I didn't have too much trouble giving up the pub but there's no way I'm ready to give up either Star Trek or a Carlsberg Special in the bath!The other problems are tolerated, partly because I can remember what a revolting little brat I could be myself.
I suppose I'm just not the parenting type and that probably explains why I couldn't wait for them to turn into teenagers. They're a bit more like me now. Then there's this:
At the risk of opening a large economy sized can of worms, I should point out that kids have a habit of getting in the way of loving relationships. If I can quote the late Dr Alex Comfort yet again, "The kind of sex we have and are talking about here practically excludes fertility. It's a choice you might have to make." Actually it can be done.
Then there's this:
At the risk of opening a large economy sized can of worms, I should point out that kids have a habit of getting in the way of loving relationships. If I can quote the late Dr Alex Comfort yet again, "The kind of sex we have and are talking about here practically excludes fertility. It's a choice you might have to make." Actually it can be done.
OK. I hope this doesn't happen to me. My partner and I feel both spiritually and physically closer (not entirely seperable I know) than ever before since the birth of our second, and I would hate that to change.
Don't worry. It can be done but a few 'adjustments' are required.
With babies and toddlers the only advice seems to be "keep the noise down" because very young children can't distinguish sex from violence. When they get a bit older this changes to "keep very quiet" so that you don't wake them up. I learnt this the hard way when our youngest said "Dad, what was so funny on TV last night?" "Funny? I don't remember anything funny!" "But I heard you laughing. You woke me up!"
What happens later is not so predictable. They might get the general idea very quickly and make a point of leaving you alone.
On the other hand they might get the general idea but think that getting in your way is a great game! Think back to when you were teenagers and you had to pick your times and places carefully so that parents wouldn't get in the way. Now put the boot on the other foot! PS: There's a good old saying that, roughly speaking, goes "do as you would be done by". When they're teenagers and they bring their boy/girlfriends home, don't turn into a prat. Dredge your memory banks. Try not to get in their way!
When they're teenagers and they bring their boy/girlfriends home, don't turn into a prat. Dredge your memory banks. Try not to get in their way!
When they are teenagers I am going to go into their rooms, listen to the music for a little bit, then do a crap dance and say "this song has got a good beat".
Name the comedy programme that is from.
S
Shutpa
As a house husband, I looked after both of my kids from the time they were a few weeks old and my wife had gone back to work. This may seem strange, but while they were sleeping, I made no effort whatsoever to be quiet. I went about my daily tasks as if the children weren't there. I'd hoover the whole house, including the rooms that the kids lay asleep in, and the result was that nothing seemed to wake them. When working in the back bedroom where there was no radio, I would turn up the volume on the kitchen radio in order to hear the music. The kids bedrooms lay in between the two! I could be wrong, but I think that as a result of their 'noisy' upbringing, my kids can sleep through anything. Contrast our friends who, when we visit them, sit whispering until their two children fall asleep - we are not even allowed to flush the toilet. Are we in the minority or are they?
bolo said:
I don't know who's in the majority but I'm sure you did it right. If children are tired enough they'll sleep through almost anything. That goes for adults too. Soldiers have fallen asleep on the march, I've fallen asleep in discos - next to the speaker - and anybody can fall asleep watching Terry Wogan!
Both of us regularly fall asleep watching TV but she will wake up if I turn it off and say "I was watching that"! I suspect that your friends are trying to get their children to sleep too much, probably for their own convenience. I was always packed off to bed too early with the result that I often woke up around six in the morning. This was great in summer because it was light outside and I could sit and read a book (no gameboys in those days) on the windowsill. I just had to be very quiet so as not to wake up the parents!
The snag is that although they CAN sleep through almost anything there's no guarantee that they will, hence my advice to notb665. Nine times out of ten you will be fine but on the tenth time you will get quizzed about strange noises next morning!
We did the same.... from birth our daughters slept with normal household noises. They have always been able to sleep through any noise. Even alarm clocks ( that was their excuse when students ).
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